Firefly in my room spiritual meaning
Amateur Room Porn
2013.04.10 02:22 FucksGuysWithAccents Amateur Room Porn
“Real people, real rooms”. Original content only, photographed and submitted by the actual people living in the rooms.
2014.04.30 00:15 LifeRing: Empower Your Sober Self
LifeRing is an abstinence-based, worldwide network of individuals seeking to live in recovery from addiction to alcohol or to other non-medically indicated drugs. In LifeRing, we offer each other peer-to-peer support in ways that encourage personal growth and continued learning through personal empowerment. Our approach is based on developing, refining, and sharing our own personal strategies for continued abstinence and crafting a rewarding life in recovery.
2016.11.20 14:34 Our Right to Rule
#We're cleaning things up for the next week or so - we'll reinvite everyone again. Don't worry!
2023.06.07 00:38 Brace_SK3 Black men acting weird when they see me??
I don’t know if this is something anyone else can relate to but I have always lived in places that were predominantly white so it’s pretty rare when I see another black person. When I see another black woman we just act normal and it’s cool to see another black person but I’m not going to make it a big deal about it and neither do they. However often times when I meet another black guy they seem to act so weird. They are always so overexcited to see me and act like their know me from Adam.
This happened at work today again, I work in a fast food place and this guy came and he ordered from my coworker but then asked my coworker to talk to me and he referred to me as sister, so my coworker thought that was my brother lol. So I came from the back and he held his hand out to shake mine and asked where I was from, I replied but then said I had to go back to work because I didn’t want to entertain this. Honestly it’s a bit annoying because just because we share a skin colour doesn’t mean we are friendly like that, it was just a waste of my time.
submitted by Brace_SK3 to blackladies [link] [comments]
This happened at work today again, I work in a fast food place and this guy came and he ordered from my coworker but then asked my coworker to talk to me and he referred to me as sister, so my coworker thought that was my brother lol. So I came from the back and he held his hand out to shake mine and asked where I was from, I replied but then said I had to go back to work because I didn’t want to entertain this. Honestly it’s a bit annoying because just because we share a skin colour doesn’t mean we are friendly like that, it was just a waste of my time.
2023.06.07 00:38 AutumnRose08 Worried about my new nasturtiums
Hello! First time poster on this sub, and I'm here to kindly ask for some advice!
I recently acquired some young nasturtiums. I'd really like to keep them healthy because one of them is variegated, which I absolutely adore and had never seen in nasturtiums. I'm worried because there's a groundhog that regularly hangs out around my house. For the most part I don't mind him and he usually just eats clover, but recently he got into the tomatoes and ate all of the baby plants.
I currently have the nasturtium covered by a wicker basket to keep him out and it seems to be working so far as the nasturtium are growing quite well. Unfortunately this means they will outgrow the basket very soon. My question is, do I need to be concerned about the groundhog eating them? I've heard that nasturtium tastes similar to mint and mint deters some animals, so maybe he won't try to eat them? Should I invest in some chicken wire anyways?
Thank you for any input!
submitted by AutumnRose08 to gardening [link] [comments]
I recently acquired some young nasturtiums. I'd really like to keep them healthy because one of them is variegated, which I absolutely adore and had never seen in nasturtiums. I'm worried because there's a groundhog that regularly hangs out around my house. For the most part I don't mind him and he usually just eats clover, but recently he got into the tomatoes and ate all of the baby plants.
I currently have the nasturtium covered by a wicker basket to keep him out and it seems to be working so far as the nasturtium are growing quite well. Unfortunately this means they will outgrow the basket very soon. My question is, do I need to be concerned about the groundhog eating them? I've heard that nasturtium tastes similar to mint and mint deters some animals, so maybe he won't try to eat them? Should I invest in some chicken wire anyways?
Thank you for any input!
2023.06.07 00:38 MiserableData6 collin robertson things i noticed so far
1, he a master of squares and spacel awareness (hench aligning the slide picture to find the 3 spots to open the secert door)
2, he came with the house (so he might actually own it somehow, again hench the secert room)
3, in the pilot when the group goes down into the basement to look for a good place for the blood thingy for the barron. mondo says no one has been down here for 80 yrs. other then collin. ( so he was like 20 yrs old in a new body when they last went down there)
4, they lived there for 200 yrs (so collin has to have had gone through this at least once before ( why didn't they notice before)
5, collin switched rooms in the basement prior to this change in an episode ( didnt think much of this before i saw the big reveal)
6, also a side note i read somewhere that he cant be killed. i think he can because "wendy" a fellow energy demon was slain in the mass killing in the theatre where Guillermo went bonkers slaying everything. her body is on the pile of others
anyway i just had to get this off my mind i think collin robertson has a huge backstory.
submitted by MiserableData6 to WhatWeDointheShadows [link] [comments]
2, he came with the house (so he might actually own it somehow, again hench the secert room)
3, in the pilot when the group goes down into the basement to look for a good place for the blood thingy for the barron. mondo says no one has been down here for 80 yrs. other then collin. ( so he was like 20 yrs old in a new body when they last went down there)
4, they lived there for 200 yrs (so collin has to have had gone through this at least once before ( why didn't they notice before)
5, collin switched rooms in the basement prior to this change in an episode ( didnt think much of this before i saw the big reveal)
6, also a side note i read somewhere that he cant be killed. i think he can because "wendy" a fellow energy demon was slain in the mass killing in the theatre where Guillermo went bonkers slaying everything. her body is on the pile of others
anyway i just had to get this off my mind i think collin robertson has a huge backstory.
2023.06.07 00:37 alilaccat 2.2 GPA and bad mental health, where do I go from here?
I’m a psych major, minoring in Japanese. I just finished my second year of college, and I failed 3 classes and withdrew from the 4th one. My GPA was already low, but now I’m scared. My mental health has been really bad, I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff outside of school and I’m convinced that I also have some kind of ADHD. My dad won’t let me go to therapy because he thinks self help books can fix everything, and I don’t know how to drive. I’m going to learn how to drive so I can take myself, and I’m taking next semester off. But I have no idea where to go from here, both in terms of fixing my mental health so this doesn’t happen again, and fixing my GPA. I was supposed to be a premed student but my GPA dropped too low. I live in a home that makes my mental health worse and don’t have the means to move out, and I don’t have a single friend. Any advice?
submitted by alilaccat to premed [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:37 This_Organization946 Is my aralia a goner?
 | When I got him he had spider mites which got treated and was doing fine. I read that they liked lower light so I moved him from my sunroom (east, west, and south facing windows) to the living room (south facing but with curtains and a tree so not as bright). When I did this, he took a turn so I moved him back. He isn't squishy. The pot he is in drains. I was watering bi-weekly. Some of the branches are crispy but most are pliable. Is there any saving him? I tried adding my photo from when I was IDing him but it wouldn't post. Look in my post history for a before. submitted by This_Organization946 to plantclinic [link] [comments] |
2023.06.07 00:37 Additional-Wind-5358 A good place (ashram or monastery) spiritual place for full brahmacharya?
Well friends, I've been wondering what a better place would be for practicing full brahmacharya, you know, among the monks, I don't know because I've heard about the Shao-lin lineage that practices qi gong, they have a temple in Europe, which I think is cool, but I don't know. exactly what would be the best eastern tradition to try this, or maybe try a little in each place? What would you say. For example for someone who wants to reach full brahmacharya (100% retention without loss even overnight)
What do you think? Am I going to a place that follows the Hindu tradition? Or I look for something in Tibet, I really don't know. I would also prefer something very cheap.
Some friends emphasized to me that I look at the tradition of tai chi, qi gong, maybe sexual kung fu or things like that. But I believe that the work of the mind (meditation) is also important.
This is for spiritual retreat for 1 year retention or something like that. What would you say?
Perhaps it would be interesting, since the objective would be to reach full retention without night losses. That I could look for one where they work it. Retention. Or "brahmacharya"
What do you think?
I still have a lot to learn about the spiritual body, or how to sublimate my ego, energy body and the like. But I feel it needs to be in a practical context. For example in qi gong you learn in practice to master your chi. In tai chi there is also something similar. So I really want to learn this.
submitted by Additional-Wind-5358 to Celibacy [link] [comments]
Well friends, I've been wondering what a better place would be for practicing full brahmacharya, you know, among the monks, I don't know because I've heard about the Shao-lin lineage that practices qi gong, they have a temple in Europe, which I think is cool, but I don't know. exactly what would be the best eastern tradition to try this, or maybe try a little in each place? What would you say. For example for someone who wants to reach full brahmacharya (100% retention without loss even overnight)
What do you think? Am I going to a place that follows the Hindu tradition? Or I look for something in Tibet, I really don't know. I would also prefer something very cheap.
Some friends emphasized to me that I look at the tradition of tai chi, qi gong, maybe sexual kung fu or things like that. But I believe that the work of the mind (meditation) is also important.
This is for spiritual retreat for 1 year retention or something like that. What would you say?
Perhaps it would be interesting, since the objective would be to reach full retention without night losses. That I could look for one where they work it. Retention. Or "brahmacharya"
What do you think?
I still have a lot to learn about the spiritual body, or how to sublimate my ego, energy body and the like. But I feel it needs to be in a practical context. For example in qi gong you learn in practice to master your chi. In tai chi there is also something similar. So I really want to learn this.
2023.06.07 00:36 CrippleWitch “Sorry for the inconvenience” or, when what is an annoyance to most is a big problem if you’re disabled
My apartment complex has three elevators. The main one is in the lobby and is the most used (especially by delivery people and guests), the other two are on opposite ends of the building and require a key fob to operate. There are also four sets of trash/recycling chutes at each corner of my building on every floor.
The main elevator has been broken for weeks. According to the latest email from the office they are still “waiting on parts”. The trash/recycle chutes nearest me are backed up and are supposed to be cleared “soon”, but it’s been this way for over a week and I’m not confident that soon means anything.
For most, it’s easy enough to take the stairs or walk around to the next set of garbage chutes, but for me it means my grocery deliveries are on pause and I have to take the long way if I want to leave my apartment. The trash thing is even worse, considering with one chute down now the other three are overworked and instead of actually putting the trash down the chutes people are leaving their bags and boxes just stacked next to them which makes it precarious and gross for me to try to get over them to toss my own trash.
The email gives a limp “sorry for the inconvenience” tag at the end of each non-update email and all I can think of is that the main elevator is the ONLY elevator that doesn’t require stairs or heavy doors to get to. I don’t know if we have wheelchair users in this building but I know that I struggle enough as it is with those things, anyone using mobility equipment would probably have even more difficulty.
I’ve emailed the office asking for updates. I’ve politely reminded them that with the main elevator down no one is getting deliveries to their doors like groceries. I’ve even mentioned that as a disabled person having to go around, negotiate stairs, and literally wade through trash is less an inconvenience and more a dangerous situation.
I’ll give you three guesses as to their reply and the first two don’t count.
I’m lucky. I have a support system of friends who are willing to bring me groceries by shlepping up four flights of stairs and other than my mountain of cardboard my trash only fills up one paper grocery bag a week. But I shouldn’t have to BE LUCKY, and I just wish my leasing office could at the very least acknowledge that these problems are more than slight inconveniences for people.
submitted by CrippleWitch to disability [link] [comments]
The main elevator has been broken for weeks. According to the latest email from the office they are still “waiting on parts”. The trash/recycle chutes nearest me are backed up and are supposed to be cleared “soon”, but it’s been this way for over a week and I’m not confident that soon means anything.
For most, it’s easy enough to take the stairs or walk around to the next set of garbage chutes, but for me it means my grocery deliveries are on pause and I have to take the long way if I want to leave my apartment. The trash thing is even worse, considering with one chute down now the other three are overworked and instead of actually putting the trash down the chutes people are leaving their bags and boxes just stacked next to them which makes it precarious and gross for me to try to get over them to toss my own trash.
The email gives a limp “sorry for the inconvenience” tag at the end of each non-update email and all I can think of is that the main elevator is the ONLY elevator that doesn’t require stairs or heavy doors to get to. I don’t know if we have wheelchair users in this building but I know that I struggle enough as it is with those things, anyone using mobility equipment would probably have even more difficulty.
I’ve emailed the office asking for updates. I’ve politely reminded them that with the main elevator down no one is getting deliveries to their doors like groceries. I’ve even mentioned that as a disabled person having to go around, negotiate stairs, and literally wade through trash is less an inconvenience and more a dangerous situation.
I’ll give you three guesses as to their reply and the first two don’t count.
I’m lucky. I have a support system of friends who are willing to bring me groceries by shlepping up four flights of stairs and other than my mountain of cardboard my trash only fills up one paper grocery bag a week. But I shouldn’t have to BE LUCKY, and I just wish my leasing office could at the very least acknowledge that these problems are more than slight inconveniences for people.
2023.06.07 00:36 umysoulessgirl We Had Another Meet-up
AP and I had one more meet up at a hotel we'd been to before. It was supposed to be to talk, but that never happened. Yeah, I know I'm a moron for sticking around this guy after my last post in this subreddit. However, as of today all lines of communication are down between me and him. No more meeting up until either we get our shit figured out or we just move on from one another.
But I want to get off my chest what happened at this hotel because we were both freaked out. The first room had no proper lock on it. Just a key deadbolt, no chain lock whatsoever, and looked so freaking sketchy from what it used to be up there. I almost wonder if they thought I was completely alone when I checked in because the dude setting the room up saw AP come up to me and offered to move us to another room. We took the offer but an hour into being there, deadbolt locked and chain lock in this room, the know was being juggled. We both shouted someone's in here, but then the fucking DEADBOLT turned and whoever it was shoved the door open. Thank goodness for the chain lock. I yelled at them to get out. That was too much and we both agreed that something is off about that place and idk if there's a way to report that, because if that's not a total setup there it's sure sketchy as hell.
So yeah...thats been my day. Hopefully shit evens out soon, but I am NEVER going back to that hotel. I'd rather not be the next to appear on The First 48 or Dateline 20/20. And no, I don't think for a second that AP had anything to do with it seeing as he was pissed off too and I'm the one who usually picks the place to go to.
submitted by umysoulessgirl to adultery [link] [comments]
But I want to get off my chest what happened at this hotel because we were both freaked out. The first room had no proper lock on it. Just a key deadbolt, no chain lock whatsoever, and looked so freaking sketchy from what it used to be up there. I almost wonder if they thought I was completely alone when I checked in because the dude setting the room up saw AP come up to me and offered to move us to another room. We took the offer but an hour into being there, deadbolt locked and chain lock in this room, the know was being juggled. We both shouted someone's in here, but then the fucking DEADBOLT turned and whoever it was shoved the door open. Thank goodness for the chain lock. I yelled at them to get out. That was too much and we both agreed that something is off about that place and idk if there's a way to report that, because if that's not a total setup there it's sure sketchy as hell.
So yeah...thats been my day. Hopefully shit evens out soon, but I am NEVER going back to that hotel. I'd rather not be the next to appear on The First 48 or Dateline 20/20. And no, I don't think for a second that AP had anything to do with it seeing as he was pissed off too and I'm the one who usually picks the place to go to.
2023.06.07 00:36 JesterSevenOneActual [M4F] M/23/UK Looking for the 1
Hey there! I'm Kas, a 23-year-old guy from England who's ready to embark on an exciting journey of romance and adventure. If you're into sci-fi and fantasy movies, comedy TV shows, and video games, then you've come to the right profile!
Interests:
When I'm not saving the world in a virtual reality, I have a passion for photography and travel. Exploring new places, capturing breathtaking moments, and documenting my adventures are some of my favourite things to do. Whether it's the picturesque landscapes or the vibrant cultures, I'm always on the lookout for my next great shot.
In addition to that, I have a soft spot for pop music, and Taylor Swift is my ultimate favourite artist. Singing along to her catchy tunes in my room on a typical Tuesday night, her music never fails to brighten my day. I'm also a fan of experiencing the magic of live orchestras. There's something truly enchanting about the harmonies and melodies that can transport you to another world.
I have a cat named Simba and he is a very good boy.
Reading is another one of my cherished pastimes. I find solace in diving into different literary worlds, from epic fantasy sagas to mind-bending science fiction. If you have any book recommendations, I'm all ears!
What I'm Looking For:
I'm searching for someone who shares my enthusiasm for geek culture and can appreciate the wonders of sci-fi and fantasy. Whether it's binge-watching our favourite shows or discussing the latest theories about time travel, it would be fantastic to have a partner in crime to explore these realms with.
A sense of humour is a must! Laughter truly is the best medicine, and if you can crack jokes with impeccable timing, we're off to a great start. Let's snuggle up on the couch, enjoy a good comedy series, and share endless laughter together.
Of course, a love for travel and an open mind are important qualities too. Joining me on my photography expeditions or exploring new destinations hand in hand would be an incredible adventure. Let's create memories that will last a lifetime!
If you appreciate the magic of music, especially Taylor Swift's tunes, we'll have plenty to sing and dance to. And who knows, maybe we can even attend an orchestra performance together and revel in the symphonic melodies that transport us to another realm.
So, if you're someone who loves to laugh, explore, and share meaningful conversations over a good book or movie, let's connect! Send me a message, and together we can embark on an unforgettable journey filled with laughter, love, and extraordinary experiences.
submitted by JesterSevenOneActual to cf4cf [link] [comments]
Interests:
When I'm not saving the world in a virtual reality, I have a passion for photography and travel. Exploring new places, capturing breathtaking moments, and documenting my adventures are some of my favourite things to do. Whether it's the picturesque landscapes or the vibrant cultures, I'm always on the lookout for my next great shot.
In addition to that, I have a soft spot for pop music, and Taylor Swift is my ultimate favourite artist. Singing along to her catchy tunes in my room on a typical Tuesday night, her music never fails to brighten my day. I'm also a fan of experiencing the magic of live orchestras. There's something truly enchanting about the harmonies and melodies that can transport you to another world.
I have a cat named Simba and he is a very good boy.
Reading is another one of my cherished pastimes. I find solace in diving into different literary worlds, from epic fantasy sagas to mind-bending science fiction. If you have any book recommendations, I'm all ears!
What I'm Looking For:
I'm searching for someone who shares my enthusiasm for geek culture and can appreciate the wonders of sci-fi and fantasy. Whether it's binge-watching our favourite shows or discussing the latest theories about time travel, it would be fantastic to have a partner in crime to explore these realms with.
A sense of humour is a must! Laughter truly is the best medicine, and if you can crack jokes with impeccable timing, we're off to a great start. Let's snuggle up on the couch, enjoy a good comedy series, and share endless laughter together.
Of course, a love for travel and an open mind are important qualities too. Joining me on my photography expeditions or exploring new destinations hand in hand would be an incredible adventure. Let's create memories that will last a lifetime!
If you appreciate the magic of music, especially Taylor Swift's tunes, we'll have plenty to sing and dance to. And who knows, maybe we can even attend an orchestra performance together and revel in the symphonic melodies that transport us to another realm.
So, if you're someone who loves to laugh, explore, and share meaningful conversations over a good book or movie, let's connect! Send me a message, and together we can embark on an unforgettable journey filled with laughter, love, and extraordinary experiences.
2023.06.07 00:36 Plane-Letter My haunted dolls experiences
I have a collection of 3 haunted dolls. They are in my house. I have stated to them to be respectful to people in the house.
My first experience with one of them was asking to knock if your present. I got a knock. I wanted to confirm this so I asked again. Knock. Ok I'll ask one more time, before I finished the sentence Knock....
Great experience.
I put one doll on a dresser in the summer, very warm in the house. I put my hand near her and it was ice cold. Like she was a tiny air conditioner.
I put all 3 dolls in front of my audio recorder and asked questions. The first question, how are we doing tonight? Response, a drawn out deep voice saying Okkkkk....
I installed cameras in the room the dolls were in and my phone would get notifications if something happened. Sometimes I would lose connection to a camera. I'd have to reset it. Other times I would watch from one camera and see the others flip to night vision and back to daytime vision.
Interesting...
Edit: I forgot to mention I bought those balloon lights or whatever they are called. You can set to barely turn on, like the flashlight game. I would ask them to try and turn the lights on and sure enough I would get some to turn on.
That was a great experience.
Now this is why I created boundaries.
One night I was about to go to bed. I walked into my room and started having a panic attack. Sure I have a history of them but this was different.
I said, if your are in my room. I beg of you to respect my boundaries and not be in my room when I go to bed.
I felt as if a person filled with anxiety walked right past me and out my door. My anxiety vanished.
This was the most intriguing experience I just encountered.
submitted by Plane-Letter to Haunted [link] [comments]
My first experience with one of them was asking to knock if your present. I got a knock. I wanted to confirm this so I asked again. Knock. Ok I'll ask one more time, before I finished the sentence Knock....
Great experience.
I put one doll on a dresser in the summer, very warm in the house. I put my hand near her and it was ice cold. Like she was a tiny air conditioner.
I put all 3 dolls in front of my audio recorder and asked questions. The first question, how are we doing tonight? Response, a drawn out deep voice saying Okkkkk....
I installed cameras in the room the dolls were in and my phone would get notifications if something happened. Sometimes I would lose connection to a camera. I'd have to reset it. Other times I would watch from one camera and see the others flip to night vision and back to daytime vision.
Interesting...
Edit: I forgot to mention I bought those balloon lights or whatever they are called. You can set to barely turn on, like the flashlight game. I would ask them to try and turn the lights on and sure enough I would get some to turn on.
That was a great experience.
Now this is why I created boundaries.
One night I was about to go to bed. I walked into my room and started having a panic attack. Sure I have a history of them but this was different.
I said, if your are in my room. I beg of you to respect my boundaries and not be in my room when I go to bed.
I felt as if a person filled with anxiety walked right past me and out my door. My anxiety vanished.
This was the most intriguing experience I just encountered.
2023.06.07 00:36 mrgnlit Finished up a recording I "engineered" in January, would like to share!
As the title states I did a recording for a friend to test out some new hardware and just practice a bit and I am pretty happy with the result! The church they chose has a livestream setup which I got the source video from but I used my own microphones instead of the house audio. I am pretty happy with the result! I am definitely a beginner when it comes to engineering and this was my first real stab at a live event so I am open to all feedback!
Here is the youtube video queued up to the sample and here is the sample I recorded and mixed.
The setup is two Line audio OM1's at 67cm apart and two Line audio CM4's in NOS. I made a bar to mount everything to a while ago and have it up about 9 feet off the ground (if my memory serves me correctly). I am recording all the mics into a Zoom F6 and have a SM81 as a spot mic which i left out of the mix.
I then did some futzing in reaper and Izotope RX to get rid of the background nosie and do some mixing. I have the NOS pair about -5 db from the OM1 pair and added a touch of ambience with Valhalla room and a slight 1db bump at 10K.
I went a bit heavy with the noise reduction because there was a SUPER loud Hvac wheezing away in the recording and it was sort of killing the singers sound. You can sort of hear it in the youtube recording, it was much higher definition in my recording. I would love any advice about how to avoid this in the future but I didn't really clock it until I was editing in post.
Also I bought these super long cables in anticipation of being far away from the array but I ended up sitting right next to it. I have made a few shorter cables in anticipation of the next gig but I plan on just mounting the interface right to the stand and letting it record away.
submitted by mrgnlit to audioengineering [link] [comments]
Here is the youtube video queued up to the sample and here is the sample I recorded and mixed.
The setup is two Line audio OM1's at 67cm apart and two Line audio CM4's in NOS. I made a bar to mount everything to a while ago and have it up about 9 feet off the ground (if my memory serves me correctly). I am recording all the mics into a Zoom F6 and have a SM81 as a spot mic which i left out of the mix.
I then did some futzing in reaper and Izotope RX to get rid of the background nosie and do some mixing. I have the NOS pair about -5 db from the OM1 pair and added a touch of ambience with Valhalla room and a slight 1db bump at 10K.
I went a bit heavy with the noise reduction because there was a SUPER loud Hvac wheezing away in the recording and it was sort of killing the singers sound. You can sort of hear it in the youtube recording, it was much higher definition in my recording. I would love any advice about how to avoid this in the future but I didn't really clock it until I was editing in post.
Also I bought these super long cables in anticipation of being far away from the array but I ended up sitting right next to it. I have made a few shorter cables in anticipation of the next gig but I plan on just mounting the interface right to the stand and letting it record away.
2023.06.07 00:36 Outrageous-Minute685 Book [ Veils ] 1.2
![Book [ Veils ] 1.2](https://preview.redd.it/qa9za2j26h4b1.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=007eab3bc420e9b3812b920d550c2b371e452654 "Book [ Veils ] 1.2") | 6.6 2023 - 5:40p submitted by Outrageous-Minute685 to u/Outrageous-Minute685 [link] [comments] A lot has been left behind. So many questions s I dont know where to start. They usually start from my "Nightmares" and the pain felt inside of them. I can never say I dis have enough, I was made a man or given a workable key to find out. When I open up Google earth.. I see alot of my past. The damage .. the inescapable struggle. The exhaustion and repetitiveness.. The constant workload. The unceasing wnd in site... always feeling to be a host t ok parasites. Unable to plan or think because .. someone has already taken that from me. Unable to confidently gather my words because I walk in and someone has already occupied that space. You want strength but the past only had circuits , it didnt have jungles. My body feels so detached because I've had episodes occur. Time to organize my understanding is almost expired. Is it a lesson? Maybe. Maybe its saying to put those ambitions to rest. Childishness to sleep. Even as I appear on the Alphabet inc Earth system.. I wonder why this has all happened. I think of what I've learned and what I see. How they connect. What do I do? What am I suppose to do? What's left is just ... what you may describe of it. But it's not good enough. I want things but I don't have a voice. I dknt have the energy. There are other organisms inside of this sphere that have influence and power. Reversing time is child's talk. How can a resolve be met. I dont know? Am I young .. no all I have are my thoughts but thoughts with so many satelites. It's all under the race of endurance . Who has do e what and what consistently. Who has deified themselves with fruits of their labour. It definitely is a struggle. A struggle so often times you wish would not exist. To go back to becoming a prokaryotic cell would have been so great. That in temperance is the most desirable . But there is also the curiosity of what may become have I complete all my work. What would become of my thoughts and my mind. I'm not sure. I'd like to know .. I'd like to find out . I know if I die without sticking to the path.. it will surely mean , death by injury or worst death by isolation. Starving to death would be a close third.. however the world is already set with its challenges. I only wish I could bare a child in these trying times and attest to those that administer towards creation why my child should be a worthy candidate for life. Or maybe there is more I need to do and prepare for. Even now it seems like papyrus will be a valued item. I'm a little more choiced with how I use this valuable. I dont want to think about "The Road " any more ( Cormac Mcarthy ) or old "Fears" ( The Walking Dead ). I want to think about a better future. An advanced civilization a stabler world. I want my understanding to change. I want to know of something new.. to find inspiration again. Getting away from unapproachable challenges. Also getting away from the co-signs of a street life. Accreditation , History , Merit , Honour , Respect , and of course healing. A place or a setting where anything is possible. |
2023.06.07 00:36 jamesbronson123 Being part of "the club" needed to get into "top" academic journals.
I won't say which discipline I am in, but in my field there are three journals that are considered "top". I'm at a R2 school and I've learned over the years from experience and from talking to people that getting published in those journals means being part of "the club". You have to know the right people as they are the AEs and reviewers. It doesn't mean someone like me won't get into those journals, just that it's a lot harder than someone from a R1 or already part of "the club" or their advisors are part of "the club".
Is this true in other fields as well? If you are not part of "the club", how do you deal with it (the frustration)? Do you just accept it (as there's politics in any job) or are you trying to change or subvert the system, somehow?
submitted by jamesbronson123 to Professors [link] [comments]
Is this true in other fields as well? If you are not part of "the club", how do you deal with it (the frustration)? Do you just accept it (as there's politics in any job) or are you trying to change or subvert the system, somehow?
2023.06.07 00:36 Meijhen Getting back on track - HELP
My house is a disaster, and I am overwhelmed and don't know where to start. It's not hoarding-level, and it's not filthy...but it's headinf that way if I don't do something about it.
Do I organize/tidy the whole house first then deep clean? Do I tidy/deep clean one room at a time? If so, where do I start?
I've given myself until the end of June to get things under control. I have an hour or so a day and more on weekends, surely there's some way I can organize/schedule this to get it done? Unfortunately, I can't call in outside help at this point, so it's just me.
I have a schedule that worked well until over the last year or so everything fell apart, and now I don't know where/how to start getting it put back together.
Any input is appreciated!
submitted by Meijhen to CleaningTips [link] [comments]
Do I organize/tidy the whole house first then deep clean? Do I tidy/deep clean one room at a time? If so, where do I start?
I've given myself until the end of June to get things under control. I have an hour or so a day and more on weekends, surely there's some way I can organize/schedule this to get it done? Unfortunately, I can't call in outside help at this point, so it's just me.
I have a schedule that worked well until over the last year or so everything fell apart, and now I don't know where/how to start getting it put back together.
Any input is appreciated!
2023.06.07 00:36 Kcsoccer75 Why does media keep saying Butler plays with no other stars?
I mean no disrespect to Butler because he is a great playoff performer and him being 1-1 in he finals with the Nuggets is amazing. He deserves a ton of credit. And, I know most if it is going to Spoelstra as possibly the games best coach and him. However, I keep hearing the media stating he is playing with no other stars.
I have to say I believe Bam to be a star in the NBA and if I were him I would feel pretty disrespected. He is arguably the league's best all around defender and if not he is a top 5 defender for sure. He is so versatile as a PF/C and his ability to patrol the lane and switch is really amazing. I don't think their is a better all around big at that skill. He is the key to their defense and ability to play a slower deliberate style. The guy is 25 and giving the Heat basically 20 and 10 while being a top 5 defender in the NBA. He gets a block and steal per game and shoots pretty well from the FT line.
So, why are the media consistently stating Butler plays with no othere stars? And, I know he's been hurt but Herro is a 6th of the year winner. I get the narrative is because there are undrafted players on the Heat, but it's like they are forgetting about the greatness of Bam and it baffles me. He is literally the 3-5 best big man in the league. I mean Jokic, Embid, Giannis, AD and Bam is the top 5 right? I guess Towns if healthy could be in there but either way Bam is getting no respect I feel.
I mean put Bam with someone like Luka and they are real contenders. Bam might not be a number 1 option but he is a legit number 2 in my eyes. Can anyone explain this to me?
submitted by Kcsoccer75 to nbadiscussion [link] [comments]
I have to say I believe Bam to be a star in the NBA and if I were him I would feel pretty disrespected. He is arguably the league's best all around defender and if not he is a top 5 defender for sure. He is so versatile as a PF/C and his ability to patrol the lane and switch is really amazing. I don't think their is a better all around big at that skill. He is the key to their defense and ability to play a slower deliberate style. The guy is 25 and giving the Heat basically 20 and 10 while being a top 5 defender in the NBA. He gets a block and steal per game and shoots pretty well from the FT line.
So, why are the media consistently stating Butler plays with no othere stars? And, I know he's been hurt but Herro is a 6th of the year winner. I get the narrative is because there are undrafted players on the Heat, but it's like they are forgetting about the greatness of Bam and it baffles me. He is literally the 3-5 best big man in the league. I mean Jokic, Embid, Giannis, AD and Bam is the top 5 right? I guess Towns if healthy could be in there but either way Bam is getting no respect I feel.
I mean put Bam with someone like Luka and they are real contenders. Bam might not be a number 1 option but he is a legit number 2 in my eyes. Can anyone explain this to me?
2023.06.07 00:36 bluegoodbye Help deciding on which camera to buy, if any.
I posted something similar to filmmaker's but I think this sub may be better suited to answer my question.
I know this question gets asked a lot around here, so apologies, but I think my circumstances are different enough to warrant a new post. I'm trying to figure out which camera is worth it for shooting video. Whether it's best to buy something I can afford now, save up and buy something better, or not buy a camera at all.
I'm in grad school studying documentary filmmaking, although when I break into the professional world I won't be limited to that genre. I have access to the school's cameras, which are incredibly nice and range from small DLSR cameras to the Canon C300 with a full stock of cinematic lenses. Typically on documentary shoots I use a fixed lens Canon XF605.
Since the school has great cameras I wasn't going to purchase anything for myself, but there's a few drawbacks to this. First, since I have to checkout a camera every time I shoot I have to spend about a half an hour setting it up to my specs. Second, it's rare, but sometimes I need to go grab some B-roll or some other footage and it would be nice just to have my own camera and not go to campus, check one out, set it up, etc. Third, with the school's equipment I'm only allowed to work on school projects and I'm strictly forbidden from using it to make money, which means no freelance side hustles until I get my own gear. People have been caught doing this, so not worth the risk.
So, after all that, what camera should I get? People seem to love the Lumix line, specifically the GH5 which I could afford now. I was looking at the Black Magic Pocket 4k, which seems really nice and I could afford it in a few months if I save up. Or should I save up for the remainder of my time in school and look into getting something like the C300 Mk II (used) and just use the school's equipment until then?
Of course, what I didn't mention along with all those cameras above is the cost of lenses, batteries, chargers, lights, mics...you get the idea.
So what do you think? Get something cheaper, but sooner? Wait a bit for something better? Or kick this can down the road for a couple years and get "professional" gear?
submitted by bluegoodbye to videography [link] [comments]
I know this question gets asked a lot around here, so apologies, but I think my circumstances are different enough to warrant a new post. I'm trying to figure out which camera is worth it for shooting video. Whether it's best to buy something I can afford now, save up and buy something better, or not buy a camera at all.
I'm in grad school studying documentary filmmaking, although when I break into the professional world I won't be limited to that genre. I have access to the school's cameras, which are incredibly nice and range from small DLSR cameras to the Canon C300 with a full stock of cinematic lenses. Typically on documentary shoots I use a fixed lens Canon XF605.
Since the school has great cameras I wasn't going to purchase anything for myself, but there's a few drawbacks to this. First, since I have to checkout a camera every time I shoot I have to spend about a half an hour setting it up to my specs. Second, it's rare, but sometimes I need to go grab some B-roll or some other footage and it would be nice just to have my own camera and not go to campus, check one out, set it up, etc. Third, with the school's equipment I'm only allowed to work on school projects and I'm strictly forbidden from using it to make money, which means no freelance side hustles until I get my own gear. People have been caught doing this, so not worth the risk.
So, after all that, what camera should I get? People seem to love the Lumix line, specifically the GH5 which I could afford now. I was looking at the Black Magic Pocket 4k, which seems really nice and I could afford it in a few months if I save up. Or should I save up for the remainder of my time in school and look into getting something like the C300 Mk II (used) and just use the school's equipment until then?
Of course, what I didn't mention along with all those cameras above is the cost of lenses, batteries, chargers, lights, mics...you get the idea.
So what do you think? Get something cheaper, but sooner? Wait a bit for something better? Or kick this can down the road for a couple years and get "professional" gear?
2023.06.07 00:36 MintyMush Requesting prayer to faithfully abstain from sexual gratification.
Guys, my girlfriend is returning home for a bit unexpectedly. We've been long distance for a few months.
I'm honestly so scared and fearful I'll lead us into sexual sin again. It pains me to know that I so easily want to pursue the very things that put my beloved savior on the cross... Wne not only sin against myself (and God too of course) but sin against her too. I really want to be a spiritual leader and help us pursue Christ and righteousness together but I've failed that. I want to protect her spiritually but I don't think I can. I promised her dad that I'd veiw her as a sister in Christ first before I veiw her as a romantically interest (1 Tim 1:5). And I've failed to keep that promise. It breaks my heart. Yet I so desperately want to be intimate with her. I love her and want to be close with her. But I know from past experiences that leads to temptation. I think the past expirnce I've had with her makes it so much worse. I feel so much more connected with her and I desire to be with her that way again... I understand what it means two becoming one flesh means now, and I really do get why in the song of Solomon there is warnings against awaking love too soon. I wish I hadn't.
She and I were waiting till marriage right up until the week before she left. Then one thing led to another of course.
I know there is nothing stopping repentance and pursuing righteousness. I get that. But part of me just wants to fall back into sin, because it felt so gratifying. And like, we can't say we waited for marriage anymore anyways. I know theres nothing stopping us from waiting for marriage from here. I guess I'm having a battle with rationalizing what my flesh wants and what I know He wants. I'm trying to remember the pain it caused me spiritually and the love and mercy of God first and his sufficiency. I've spent many nights in tears because of the shame I've felt in this. But still... I just feel like I need prayer.
She and I have talked about re establishing boundaries... And it's been really good. But we haven't been together since the sexual sin. I feel like I want to be with her and really close because the time she has home is very temporary before she leaves again. So please pray that I would uphold those boundaries I set and will spend my time with her wisely.
submitted by MintyMush to TrueChristian [link] [comments]
I'm honestly so scared and fearful I'll lead us into sexual sin again. It pains me to know that I so easily want to pursue the very things that put my beloved savior on the cross... Wne not only sin against myself (and God too of course) but sin against her too. I really want to be a spiritual leader and help us pursue Christ and righteousness together but I've failed that. I want to protect her spiritually but I don't think I can. I promised her dad that I'd veiw her as a sister in Christ first before I veiw her as a romantically interest (1 Tim 1:5). And I've failed to keep that promise. It breaks my heart. Yet I so desperately want to be intimate with her. I love her and want to be close with her. But I know from past experiences that leads to temptation. I think the past expirnce I've had with her makes it so much worse. I feel so much more connected with her and I desire to be with her that way again... I understand what it means two becoming one flesh means now, and I really do get why in the song of Solomon there is warnings against awaking love too soon. I wish I hadn't.
She and I were waiting till marriage right up until the week before she left. Then one thing led to another of course.
I know there is nothing stopping repentance and pursuing righteousness. I get that. But part of me just wants to fall back into sin, because it felt so gratifying. And like, we can't say we waited for marriage anymore anyways. I know theres nothing stopping us from waiting for marriage from here. I guess I'm having a battle with rationalizing what my flesh wants and what I know He wants. I'm trying to remember the pain it caused me spiritually and the love and mercy of God first and his sufficiency. I've spent many nights in tears because of the shame I've felt in this. But still... I just feel like I need prayer.
She and I have talked about re establishing boundaries... And it's been really good. But we haven't been together since the sexual sin. I feel like I want to be with her and really close because the time she has home is very temporary before she leaves again. So please pray that I would uphold those boundaries I set and will spend my time with her wisely.
2023.06.07 00:35 Jolly_Theme_4427 Expect casual partner to ghost? Please dissect my drama filled story and give me your opinion
I’ve (26F) been seeing this visiting European student (25M), say John, for the last couple of months- fully aware he is leaving next month. Anyway, I noticed one of his female friends was being handsy with him, would give me evil eye whenever I was around and would post stories that they were hanging out (during times I wouldn’t hear from him). While this was happening, he invited me to come to his bday party and I was on the fence bc I didn’t want to go to this event and have his other lover start drama or rub it in my face. I made it clear that I didn’t care what he did but that I’d like him to let me know if he started to have sex w anyone else (I would stop sleeping with him and we would just remain friends). I made it clear that I didn’t want to come to the party if he had something going on with her or anyone else- I didn’t want to be disrespected or humiliated.
He said they shared a kiss before we met but that he was uninterested and is only sleeping with me even though we hadn’t said we were exclusive. He sounded truthful and we went on to fully agree we wouldn’t sleep with anyone until he leaves at the end of the month.
Welp, I went to the party on Friday (party full of Europeans). The girl threw a fit and sat on the floor of the outdoor patio to try to get John’s attention. He didn’t go to her out of respect for me but I honestly think he would’ve gone if I wasn’t there. And when he didn’t go to her, she proceeded to make out with his other female friend in front of him, me, and the female friend’s partner. John commented that I didn’t need to worry about his female friend bc she was preoccupied with making out w someone else. Everyone else was weirdly fine with this show that was clearly a means of trying to get John’s attention but I knew better.
The party extended to a dancing club, John and his friends started talking about me and the female friend in another language as I stood beside them. It was rude and I found that this + the drama his female friend was causing, upset me and so I started to find excuses to abruptly excuse myself (I couldn’t leave bc my bike was in his basement so I was stuck). Apparently John’s friends thought my behavior was weird and after the club closed, John angrily expressed he didn’t understand why I acted the way I did. He insisted I still sleep over his place and even though he was still angry, cuddled with me. I was upset but still apologized for my behavior. His friends called him in the morning saying they were coming over to his place to have coffee. He told them to give him an hour, we had sex, and he didn’t invite me to stay for coffee like he usually does. He gave me his usual goodbye kiss and just told me to have a good weekend. Haven’t heard from him since Saturday morning.
Like I want to hear from him but I’m not going to reach out bc I don’t like the way that party left me feeling and I feel silly that I let myself be involved in unnecessary drama and I’m not even in a relationship with this dude. Insert clown emoji. Want a read of the situation from random internet strangers. Think he will reach out or he’s done?
submitted by Jolly_Theme_4427 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
He said they shared a kiss before we met but that he was uninterested and is only sleeping with me even though we hadn’t said we were exclusive. He sounded truthful and we went on to fully agree we wouldn’t sleep with anyone until he leaves at the end of the month.
Welp, I went to the party on Friday (party full of Europeans). The girl threw a fit and sat on the floor of the outdoor patio to try to get John’s attention. He didn’t go to her out of respect for me but I honestly think he would’ve gone if I wasn’t there. And when he didn’t go to her, she proceeded to make out with his other female friend in front of him, me, and the female friend’s partner. John commented that I didn’t need to worry about his female friend bc she was preoccupied with making out w someone else. Everyone else was weirdly fine with this show that was clearly a means of trying to get John’s attention but I knew better.
The party extended to a dancing club, John and his friends started talking about me and the female friend in another language as I stood beside them. It was rude and I found that this + the drama his female friend was causing, upset me and so I started to find excuses to abruptly excuse myself (I couldn’t leave bc my bike was in his basement so I was stuck). Apparently John’s friends thought my behavior was weird and after the club closed, John angrily expressed he didn’t understand why I acted the way I did. He insisted I still sleep over his place and even though he was still angry, cuddled with me. I was upset but still apologized for my behavior. His friends called him in the morning saying they were coming over to his place to have coffee. He told them to give him an hour, we had sex, and he didn’t invite me to stay for coffee like he usually does. He gave me his usual goodbye kiss and just told me to have a good weekend. Haven’t heard from him since Saturday morning.
Like I want to hear from him but I’m not going to reach out bc I don’t like the way that party left me feeling and I feel silly that I let myself be involved in unnecessary drama and I’m not even in a relationship with this dude. Insert clown emoji. Want a read of the situation from random internet strangers. Think he will reach out or he’s done?
2023.06.07 00:35 Competitive-Lunch128 Cruel Comments about driving/toxic masculinity
Maybe you feel me but this is just a quick rant and i do not necessarily seek help but I’m open
I‘m just speechless how mean people can be. doesn’t matter if you’re handicapped or not. Why am I „childish“, „irresponsible“, and a „joke“ just because I‘m in my early/mid 20s and still have no drivers license. I GET THAT ITS MORE CONVENIENT AND SAFER, BUT WHY IS IT MY FAULT IF MY NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN STILL HAS PROBLEMS MAKING ONE . I really want to drive and have my own car, but the more people especially men GET LITERALLY MADE FUN OFF for not having a car or a license, the less i want one, It hurts the most when it comes from girls i‘m interested dating. I just feel full of shame
submitted by Competitive-Lunch128 to ableism [link] [comments]
I‘m just speechless how mean people can be. doesn’t matter if you’re handicapped or not. Why am I „childish“, „irresponsible“, and a „joke“ just because I‘m in my early/mid 20s and still have no drivers license. I GET THAT ITS MORE CONVENIENT AND SAFER, BUT WHY IS IT MY FAULT IF MY NEURODIVERGENT BRAIN STILL HAS PROBLEMS MAKING ONE . I really want to drive and have my own car, but the more people especially men GET LITERALLY MADE FUN OFF for not having a car or a license, the less i want one, It hurts the most when it comes from girls i‘m interested dating. I just feel full of shame
2023.06.07 00:34 janeisawhiteghost Danny notice me please
 | Y’all upvote this cause I really want him to see this. Okay Danny I really appreciate you and you made me a better person. Your so funny. And when I was in the worst stage of my life about to end it all but you made me realize that I can keep going no matter what. Danny tysm for keeping your channel and caring about your fans. I’ve watched you for years and it would mean so so much to me if you upvote me or respond to me.(also that’s my dog please rate her she’s a year old and her name is dolly she’s a full breed pug) submitted by janeisawhiteghost to DannyGonzalez [link] [comments] |
2023.06.07 00:34 jolyne92 Subletter left housing situation, is the original tenant now responsible for rent due?
Okay so this may be lengthy so bear with me here.
I have 3 friends in the state of Oregon who moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with a year long lease. Roommate 1 no longer wanted to live with roommates 2 and 3 so they found a new housing situation less than three months before the lease was up and wanted to move out right then and there. In the group chat roommate 1 offered to pay double rent for their room if an alternative solution was not found. However they offered to find a subletter to stay in the room for the remainder of the lease so that roommates 2 and 3 wouldn't have to cover extra rent. Well...the subletter that roommate 1 found only stayed for a month and is refusing to pay rent for that time because she did not sigh an addendum, therefore making her not responsible for paying rent and is claiming that she left due to a flea infestation (there is no infestation and the roommates have proof of this).
Since there is no paperwork to actually hold the subletter accountable for leaving with no warning and refusing to pay rent for the month that she stayed there, does the responsibility of the 2 months worth of rent fall back onto the original tenant (roommate 1)? And if roommates 2 and 3 were to take this to small claims court, would they have any ground to stand on since there is evidence of roommate 1 offering to pay double rent for their share of the apartment since they left the lease early?
Im wondering since roommate 1 offered to pay double rent in the beginning and the subletter has bailed, that they now have to cover the remaining rent even if they no longer live on the premises. Any advice is super welcome and if you need any clarifying questions feel free to ask. I just really wanna help my friends because the shouldn't have to pay two months worth of someone else's rent right before they have to move out. Especially considering that roommate 1 did not make sure to fine a trustworthy subletter and is offering absolutely no help in the situation even tho it was their actions that started this whole fiasco
submitted by jolyne92 to renting [link] [comments]
I have 3 friends in the state of Oregon who moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with a year long lease. Roommate 1 no longer wanted to live with roommates 2 and 3 so they found a new housing situation less than three months before the lease was up and wanted to move out right then and there. In the group chat roommate 1 offered to pay double rent for their room if an alternative solution was not found. However they offered to find a subletter to stay in the room for the remainder of the lease so that roommates 2 and 3 wouldn't have to cover extra rent. Well...the subletter that roommate 1 found only stayed for a month and is refusing to pay rent for that time because she did not sigh an addendum, therefore making her not responsible for paying rent and is claiming that she left due to a flea infestation (there is no infestation and the roommates have proof of this).
Since there is no paperwork to actually hold the subletter accountable for leaving with no warning and refusing to pay rent for the month that she stayed there, does the responsibility of the 2 months worth of rent fall back onto the original tenant (roommate 1)? And if roommates 2 and 3 were to take this to small claims court, would they have any ground to stand on since there is evidence of roommate 1 offering to pay double rent for their share of the apartment since they left the lease early?
Im wondering since roommate 1 offered to pay double rent in the beginning and the subletter has bailed, that they now have to cover the remaining rent even if they no longer live on the premises. Any advice is super welcome and if you need any clarifying questions feel free to ask. I just really wanna help my friends because the shouldn't have to pay two months worth of someone else's rent right before they have to move out. Especially considering that roommate 1 did not make sure to fine a trustworthy subletter and is offering absolutely no help in the situation even tho it was their actions that started this whole fiasco
2023.06.07 00:34 shebluemeaway I(17f) am having problems with my insecurities and my girlfriend’s(17f) best friend
I(17f) dont like my gf’s bsf(18f) and heres why. For one, she used to make racist jokes especially to my girlfriend which would upset her. She would make fun of my girls dad being deported, call her green card, etc. On top of that she was just generally racist, mocking middle eastern and asian cultures mainly. I called her out on this and she said “okay.. thanks for letting me know” in a flat and sarcastic way that let me know she didn’t care that she was being disrespectful. After she went ahead and talked shit about me to my gf bc my gf got a text when the room went quiet and then immediately gave her a death stare. I even caught a glance at a later text that mentioned my name.
Which leads me to issue #2 she talks about me behind my back and also disrespects me to my gf. There was an incident where after i first opened up to my gf ab my SA, her friend insinuated I was a whore and that i was “loose”. She even randomly brought up to my gf one day about my post on my story which was a mirror pic of me in a black tshirt and blue jeans, and started saying how it was crazy i posted something like that w the tiniest bit of cleavage bc even her gf doesn’t post like that. She later said she wasn’t slut shaming me but I don’t believe her. My gf was laughing about it to me pretty hard which makes me feel uneasy because i dont see whats funny about ur friend slutshaming me openly when i’m ur gf? Meanwhile she was also liking my story.
I expressed my concern since then to my gf and she doesn’t bring her friend around me much. But I get the feeling like she would choose her over me any second. During aftercare, my gf got a call from her friend and after a bit of joking around her friend said to go back to hanging out w me. My gf then replied “fine i’ll just go back to hanging out w ——— then” but in the most disappointed tone compared to her joking one previously. I immediately brought it up and she apologized.
But then the other day my gf texted me that she’s going to her friends graduation and hanging out with her the rest of the day after to celebrate. But it’s on our anniversary. I have mixed feelings about this, on one hand i want her to go have fun. I don’t hate her friend, she’s just not my favorite person. But she has been there for my girl and my girl likes her and they deserve to have fun. And we will have plenty more anniversaries to celebrate. But on the other hand, i have that gut feeling again as though she would choose her friend over me in a heartbeat and would rather hang w her instead and would even miss our anniversary.
I have never been the “favorite” when it came to family, or friend groups. I’ve always been a loner. And now it feels like that again but with my first love. And these insecurities make me feel toxic. Idk.
submitted by shebluemeaway to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
Which leads me to issue #2 she talks about me behind my back and also disrespects me to my gf. There was an incident where after i first opened up to my gf ab my SA, her friend insinuated I was a whore and that i was “loose”. She even randomly brought up to my gf one day about my post on my story which was a mirror pic of me in a black tshirt and blue jeans, and started saying how it was crazy i posted something like that w the tiniest bit of cleavage bc even her gf doesn’t post like that. She later said she wasn’t slut shaming me but I don’t believe her. My gf was laughing about it to me pretty hard which makes me feel uneasy because i dont see whats funny about ur friend slutshaming me openly when i’m ur gf? Meanwhile she was also liking my story.
I expressed my concern since then to my gf and she doesn’t bring her friend around me much. But I get the feeling like she would choose her over me any second. During aftercare, my gf got a call from her friend and after a bit of joking around her friend said to go back to hanging out w me. My gf then replied “fine i’ll just go back to hanging out w ——— then” but in the most disappointed tone compared to her joking one previously. I immediately brought it up and she apologized.
But then the other day my gf texted me that she’s going to her friends graduation and hanging out with her the rest of the day after to celebrate. But it’s on our anniversary. I have mixed feelings about this, on one hand i want her to go have fun. I don’t hate her friend, she’s just not my favorite person. But she has been there for my girl and my girl likes her and they deserve to have fun. And we will have plenty more anniversaries to celebrate. But on the other hand, i have that gut feeling again as though she would choose her friend over me in a heartbeat and would rather hang w her instead and would even miss our anniversary.
I have never been the “favorite” when it came to family, or friend groups. I’ve always been a loner. And now it feels like that again but with my first love. And these insecurities make me feel toxic. Idk.