Wizard of oz trunk or treat

I know we may be in the minority, but I wanted to issue out a warning of my honest experiences to anyone else on the spectrum wanting to pursue an MBA. I have been diagnosed with high-functioning autism (previously known as Asperger's). My autism manifests in subpar social skills, times of executive dysfunction, and stimming.
I have tried my whole life to improve my social skills, and I have made strides. But I still do the following that make neurotypicals feel uncomfortable: I am poor with eye contact, often laugh too loud or not at the exact right moment, have poor timing in group conversations, am either too loud or too quiet, and either talk too little or too much. I have tried to do better at the give and take of conversations, but sometimes I drone on about a niche topic of special interest to me (lately it's been watching powerwashing videos). I can also stim by rocking myself back and forth in a chair, and I will go through spurts of extreme productivity as well as periods of unproductivity. My emotions often sometimes don't match my facial expressions, I am uncoordinated and trip a lot, and find it difficult to internalize what "good fashion" is: I look like a total dork with poor fashion. Sometimes I under-share, and sometimes I am TMI. I have tried to improve on these fronts, but social skills aren't innate to me, it's like learning a new language, and even if I improve, "at best" I am speaking social skills "with an accent."
With all of that said, I am very very kind. I show genuine interest in others. I am a very loyal person and friend. I am curious about other people and subjects. And I love to help others out in areas where they are weak and I can help (people recommended me to others as a good finance and accounting tutor during our core classes). People have described me as being nice.
However, that hasn't mattered much, especially when it comes to networking and socializing. People have been utterly, utterly brutal about me not being good at following "unwritten" social rules and making several social faux pas (as I outlined before). I was not out about being autistic due to the social stigma about it, and unfortunately, me not being open made people make negative assumptions about me. People thought I was extremely weird, standoffish, awkward, too intense, not fun to be around, and made them not feel at ease or uncomfortable. People were generally nice to me to my face, but I could feel myself being excluded from parties, trips, and general non-school-sponsored social events. I have made a few genuine friends, usually people who are fellow nerds, and they have heard others make negative comments about how "uncomfortable" I make them feel with things like poor eye contact or weird body language, or butting into conversations or alternatively not speaking at all during a group convo.
It seems, according to the people at my MBA, being "cool" and "having good social skills" is far more important than "being a good person." I came to pursue my MBA to force myself into an environment to improve my social skills, but it has not felt like a supportive safe space. People make very snap and sharp judgements of those with poorer social skills, even if they are a good person, and being seen as "weird" will kill your chances at social acceptance. It's even more disheartening that many of the people ostracizing me for being "weird" are vocally very pro-DEI on other issues (race, LGBTQA+ status, etc.) And I fully support that.
What really hurt me was that several of the "popular girls" in our program thought I was really "weird" in my interactions with them, when I identify as being asexual and homoromantic (romantically interested in other men). I never did anything bad or wrong. I am lucky to have made a small friend group with other fellow nerdy men and one nerdy woman.
Eventually, it got too much, and I became more open about having autism. I noticed that after that, people started treating me less harshly and showed more grace, but it was not without its drawbacks. Some people, while being slightly more kind, also infantilized me a bit, such as talking to me like a baby. And it made some guys who were cool with me before avoid me because knowing I have autism makes them even more uncomfortable than them thinking I'm just a socially awkward nerd.
I am a Software Engineer who pursued my MBA in order to explore other areas like Product Management or BizOps. If all of business is like this though, I may just give up and go back to software engineering. Software engineering was a far less hostile environment for me as someone with autism. Lots of people who dressed poorly, talked poorly, but geeked out over technical things. The environment was less unforgiving for people with poorer social skills. But part of me also wants to brave things true - maybe Product Management or BizOps won't be as bad as my MBA school (where there are aspiring consultants and bankers in the mix) and I can try, and if it doesn't work out, I can fall back to engineering.
But I just wanted to share my honest experience. Being autistic makes feeling like doing an MBA on "ultra hard mode."

The Missing Donuts
Detective Jones had a long day at work. He had been chasing a notorious gang leader for months, and today he finally got a lead on his whereabouts. He followed the trail to an abandoned warehouse, where he expected to find the criminal and his cronies. But instead of a showdown, he found a trap. The warehouse was rigged with explosives, and Jones barely escaped with his life. He was lucky to have his partner, Detective Smith, by his side.
As they drove back to the station, Jones felt exhausted and hungry. He needed something to cheer him up and boost his energy. He decided to stop by his favorite shop, Donut Delight, and treat himself to a dozen of his favorite donuts. He had been a loyal customer for years, and the shop owner, Mr. Lee, always greeted him with a smile and a discount.
He parked his car in front of the shop and walked in, expecting to see the familiar display of colorful donuts. But to his horror, he saw nothing but empty shelves. There was no sign of Mr. Lee or any of his staff. The shop was deserted.
“Hello?” Jones called out. “Anyone here?” There was no answer. Jones felt a chill run down his spine. Something was wrong. He drew his gun and cautiously walked around the shop, looking for clues. He noticed that the cash register was open and empty. There were signs of a struggle on the floor. He saw a trail of blood leading to the back door.
He followed the trail and opened the door. He gasped at what he saw.
There, in the alley behind the shop, were Mr. Lee and his staff, tied up and gagged. They had been beaten and tortured. And next to them, on a wooden crate, was a note.
It read:
"Dear Detective Jones, We have your donuts. If you ever want to see them again, you will drop the case against me and my gang. You have 24 hours to decide. Sincerely, The Donut Bandit"
Jones felt a surge of anger and disbelief. How dare this criminal take his donuts? How did he know about his weakness? How did he find out where he shopped? He looked at Mr. Lee and his staff, who were pleading with their eyes for help. He felt sorry for them. They were innocent victims of this madness.
He knew what he had to do.
He took out his phone and called Smith. “Smith, I need your help. I’ve found the Donut Bandit.”
“Who?”
“The Donut Bandit. The guy who’s been robbing donut shops all over town.” “Oh, him. Where are you?” “I’m at Donut Delight.” “Donut Delight? What are you doing there?” “Never mind that. Just get here as soon as you can. And bring backup.” “OK, OK, I’m on my way.”
Jones hung up and looked at the note again. He crumpled it in his hand and threw it away.
He wasn’t going to give up his case. He wasn’t going to give up his donuts. He was going to catch this bastard. And make him pay.

I'm so fucking tired, he acts like a child and I basically mothered him for as long as I remember. He is disabled and I know he is just depressed because of his condition, but at the same time I am so tired of being his nurse, he treats more like his wife/mom than a daughter. And that's not even what grains my nerves, it's the fact that he can be so disrespectful to me and say the most offensive shit and then tell me he loves in the same breath. Everytime I try to get him to do something on his own or tell him to eat less for his health, he yells at me and calls me names. Not only that, he constantly asks me for hugs and kisses and while that may seem harmless, he just asks for so much affection while I am not someone who likes too many hugs and kisses, specially if forced. I know he loves me and I love him back and I don't want my relationship with him to become strained or to have to cut ties with him because despite all the horrible things he may have said, I know he is just lashing out because he is hurt and has no idea how to deal with it. He came from an extremely neglectful home and I understand that a lot of his attitude is because of this and the fact that he is depressed about his medical condition, he can't work anymore and has to rely on us which kills him inside since he was always so independent. He has taught me so much and gave me so many laughs, even when I was thinking of taking my own life I stopped because I thought "What will happen to dad?". This is why I'm specially hurt, I love him so much yet he just gives me so much labor. Anyway, that's it for my rant, thanks for reading if you made it to here! Kisses! <3

Idk if this is because I’m autistic and so maybe my innocent questions or statements are viewed that way, but it upsets me how they sometimes put some passive aggressive agenda or spin on everything. It made me realise how harsh and manipulative the NT world can be. Yes I know autistic people are also capable of being manipulative and lying etc. But it’s just tiring as an adult to be treated with such aggression and game playing a lot, and have that projected on me on top of it. I find people already exhausting to deal with, add on all this anxiety and stress and fear of strangers and misinterpretation. As a result, I mostly try to only interact in autistic spaces now and say I am upfront. But unfortunately these don’t always exist. Does anyone else experience this or is it just me?

2023 Results (So Far): +13.78 Units
2022 Results: +73.185 Units
All Time: +87 Units

Quick recap for last week - one of our worst weeks in some time. It was a very frustrating watch on quite a lot of our bets. I mentioned in our betting mailout post weigh-ins that this was a massively dicey card in that it was going to be a hugely positive results or quite a rough week for betting and that came completely true (sadly). Recap:

1. Daniel Santos ITD and under 2.5 rds - I don’t know how Munoz hung in there, he was getting absolutely battered at some many points. That one hurt.
2. Castaneda wins RD 2/ RD 3 - A tonne of people riding the Gafarov side in this one, he showed some good heart and durability but Castaneda was the clear a side in this one as I thought. In retrospect, this was a really sharp bet and I think we were unlucky not to hit here.
3. Zaleski ITD - on the right side with a close fight between these two, ITD never really looked likely. Chalk it.
4. Tim Elliott ML - was my strongest lean and at a good price. All week I thought he would just be better than Altamirano everywhere and he was. I think Victor looked good and he is getting better and the guy is super tough but just outclassed in this one.
5. Kara-France/Albazi under 4.5 rds - thought this was hitting when Albazi had the back of Kai and was choking him out, Kai did unreal to survive that. Close fight, never really close to any finish besides that RNC. Is what it is.

I think we were unlucky on a few of those picks and if a few things had gone differently it wouldve been a mammoth week. That’s part of the game though! Play your value, make your reads properly week after week and you will get your dues - firm believer.
Anyways enough waffle - let’s get into this week’s shenanigans. Name value wise, this is one of the worst PPV’s in some time - gotta feel for those Canadian fans. However, I say it most weeks, any weekend with MMA in my life is a better weekend than if there was nothing! Some strong favourites and some interesting underdogs this week.
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David Dvořák (20-5) vs. Steve Erceg (9-1):
Erceg is a rangey FLW who fights out of OD. Decent little leg kick, more of a counter striker. He has good timing on his wrestling entries, good at using the overhand right consistently and then using that setup to feint and use double leg entries. Erceg also has really nice outside leg trips. He’s quite an elite grappler, very sharp on the ground and is outstanding at finding the back and on the mat he is so comfortable. He has complete control with his long arms and legs and is able to use them expertly to position his opponent where he wants them. He just has a great variety of submissions he is able to go to depending on the scramble situation. He is also very good at using his height to hold people against the cage and has really good knees in the clinch. Dvorak is an elusive, well rounded guy on the feet. He is quite a movement orientated FLW, very bouncy and likes to fight on the outside and off the back of his jab. Quite a wide base and can be very measured which means he should have good balance against an incoming takedown. He does at times rush into exchanges at times which worries me that he will get level changed and clean taken down. He is the far more experienced fighter with almost double the fights and this does seem like a step down in competition. Coming into this fight I thought I would be far on the Dvorak side given the striking advantage but I think Erceg can give Dvorak a lot of issues on the ground here with his scrambling ability and outside leg trips in the clinch. Close fight, edging Dvorak but if we see Erceg as a big underdog, I am definitely playing him, potentially by sub. For now, I will take David Dvorak via UD.
BET: If Erceg is over a +250 underdog, 1 unit play on Erceg. If I can get Erceg via SUB at +500 or more, I am definitely playing that.
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Chris Daukaus (12-6) vs. Khalil Rountree (11-5) [CANCELLED BUT I HAD ALREADY ANALYSED SO ENJOY LOL]
Rountree is a SP Thai style fighter, he has very quick, sharp hands that pair with his explosive variety of kicks nicely. He has always been a super talented guy but struggled mentally so it is nice to see him put things together in that area as well as develop physically. I like the way he handfights in opposite stances, he really accentuates the rear body kick and straight shots which is excellent, it works better when he works off the back of his lead hand feints. Can be partial to losing a little technique with his boxing combos and swinging wildly which a skilled boxer in the pocket will take full advantage of. Daukaus coming down for to 205 for this fight which is a move that shouldve happened sooner IMO. He’s mainly a boxer who relies on quick hands in close, landing some decent volume but can be out powered. If you look at Daukaus’ record, there’s a clear trend - he KO’s grapplers and loses to competent strikers. Will be interested to see him on the scales but skill for skill, I favour Rountree’s kicking game to really shine here and given this will be an OD vs SP matchup, I favour the Rountree side even more - I expect the lead hand feints, sharp crosses and rear body kick to dictate this fight and lead to a KO within 2 rounds. Taking Khalil Rountree via TKO RD 2.
BET: Will be looking at the unders, Khalil ITD if in the range of -130 and under.
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Nassourdine Imavov (12-4) vs. Chris Curtis (30-10):
This is a pretty tough fight to handicap given we have seen such varying degrees of success from both men. Imavov is a long, flowy Orthodox mainly kickboxer who has good footwork and really good straight shots. He has a similar style of footwork to his main training partner Cyril Gane however he has far less head movement and this really does show as he is quite hittable. I do really like the variety in the kicking game of Imavov, he has a very agile lead lead leg which means a lot of teeps, side kicks, oblique kicks and calf kicks. Imavov is far better when he is dictating the fight off the back of his jab and the one moving forward, when he is the one moving backwards his head movement is far worse, his chin is there to be hit and his footwork leaves him just in range. Chris Curtis is a Southpaw boxer who has a simple game plan in his fights - keep the fight standing with his great takedown defence and land the more significant shots in the pocket. He is good at moving forward, cutting off the cage and relying on initial slips and a high boxing guard to defend most shots. His lead hand is somewhat active but his money maker is definitely his body rips, which generally come off his slipping actions, as well as his rear hand cross. Given his heavy lead leg orientated boxing stance, Curtis has very little kicking ability and his ability to check kicks is next to nothing - this is an area I fully expect Imavov to exploit. To me, Imavov is going to be landing more volume, with the kicks and the hands, dictating where this fight takes place. I think Curtis will be slowly trying to move forward, cut the cage and use his power shots to the body to wear on Imavov to where he can take over late. I think the movement of Imavov will be enough to use angles in and out, land more often and use the clinch to get the Thai plum for knees to the body and to hold Curtis against the cage if need be. This is a close fight, I think the odds are pretty bang on here. Not interested in betting this fight but I will slightly edge Nassourdine Imavov via UD (29-28).
BET: Too many unknowns for me, no bet.
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Aiemann Zahabi vs. Aoriqileng
Zahabi is one of the strangest fighters to breakdown for me simply because he is so awkward in his movements. He switches stances as he moves forward in the most uncomfortable looking way. I like his kicking counters, has nice kickboxing style counters and he clearly has some power in his hands. He is very low volume and looks to be the counter striker, letting his opponent throw first and then countering off that. He fights super infrequently which concerns me but is riding a few OK wins. Coming up against Aoriqileng here who is definitely rounding out his skill-set and getting better which you like to see. Defensively, he is good at just staying out of range with his footwork and staying in a tight shell, he also has a really good chin to absorb shots. Offensively, he is OK, he could probably benefit from using his jab more but he has good timing on his shots and has nice boxing combos in close specifically. He likes to lead in with a lead left hook and follow with his big cross and work off that. In this one, I think Aoriqileng is the side to be on. I think he is the more well-rounded fighter who can use his wrestling to mix things up but on the feet, I favour his power and hand-speed and I think he will touch Zahabi up in this one. I think Fight Ready will have Aoriqileng primed here and I think he will look better than his last fight. Taking Aoriqileng via UD.
BET: Swaying on an Aoriqileng ML play but as of right now, nothing.
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Blake Bilder vs. Kyle Nelson
I think Bilder is better in every single area of this fight. He’s a better boxer, he is more durable, his grappling is probably his best aspect of his game and I think he will wear on Nelson here and outlast him. Bilder is (pardon me) building into his career nicely, I think this is a good opponent for him to put a showcase on against. Am curious to see what some props on Bilder ITD will be. I think he will have more volume, more power and he will be more live to finish the fight. I think Bilder’s speed will catch Nelson and then he will find a submission. Taking Blake Bilder via SUB RD 2.
BET: Nothing outlayed currently. Potential Bilder ITD play if +250. Probably a parlay piece.
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Diana Belbiţă vs. Maria Oliveira
Close fight. Not interested here.
BET: no bet.
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Jasmine Jasudavicius vs. Miranda Maverick
Now this is a fight that I might surprise some with. Let’s start with Maverick - she got a huge wrap from Anik probably over 1.5 years ago claiming she would beat Shevchenko. Now while that is completely ludicrous, she has shown a decent amount of talent. On the feet, she is pretty technical with her kickboxing, looking her best when she is at range and can use her kicks to dictate the fight. She is pretty well-rounded with an OK offensive wrestling game, generally built off clinch pressure and outside/inside trips. Now where she has struggled is her defensive wrestling, she is content to get stuck on her back and shows an inability to move or improve position. She is coming up against Jasudavicius here, who while is incredibly average on the feet, is honestly a very impressive female wrestler. She is BIG for the division, she is durable and she has really good forward pressure. I think while this fight is on the feet, Maverick will be the far better striker but I think Jasudavicius will be like a dog in this fight, moving forward, absorbing shots while she closes distance and holds Maverick up against the cage, using her massive frame before working takedowns and trips and maintaining top position to win minutes. I think this is a decent matchup for Jasudavicius and I think frankly that this is a far closer fight than the odds would indicate. It should be close but I am taking Jasmine Jasudavicius via UD.
BET: Jasudavicius ML +260 (1 unit to win 2.6).
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Mike Malott vs. Adam Fugitt
Hometown boy in Mike Malott in this one. Malott fights out of both but southpaw stance mainly, with a Thai style striking game mixing powerful hands and sharp rear power kicks while keeping the fight in his range. On the ground he has really good BJJ, I like how smothering his top pressure is - he has really good balance to hold top position but uses it well to land good ground and pound and hunt submissions. He has good power in his hands, especially in his hooks that land in perfect placement and with excellent timing. Fugitt also fights out of southpaw and is a sort of OK everywhere but not great anywhere sort of fighter. He looks comfortable on the feet but is extremely hittable, not a lot of head movement but is super durable, I mean that head kick he just ate from Kinoshita was so flush and it didnt even wobble him. He is a Muay Thai bred fighter but has good wrestling pressure and we saw in his last fight that he can mix in takedowns, maintain top position and use vicious elbows to finish the fight. If we see SP v SP on the feet, I think this will be pretty closely contested. Both guys are fairly rudimentary strikers with Malott probably having more power but I think Fugitt has the durability to withstand this. I probably favour the grappling of Malott, I think pure grappling wise he is stronger and more technical and given I think that the striking is fairly close, I am going to lean Mike Malott via UD.
BET: Curious to see what the over 1.5 is set at given Fugitt is durable and can probably withstand Malott.
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Dan Ige vs. Nate Landwehr
Man I love Nate Landwehr as a person and a personality within the UFC but this is just a really difficult matchup for him. Ige is super well-rounded with good power in his hands, nice movement, Hawaiian durability, effective offensive wrestling and good grappling. He is good in brawls but also content to fight from the outside and land his shots. Nate thrives when he can make these fights absolute scraps and wear on his opponent but I just don’t see Dan succumbing to the pressure of Nate. Nate’s chin can definitely be cracked and I think Ige has too much power in his hands, I think he will touch Nate and I think he will put him away. It’s a big step up in competition and one that I would love to see Nate do well in, but going to have to side with the more proven, well-rounded commodity at this point and take Dan Ige via TKO RD 2.
BET: no bet.
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Eryk Anders vs. Marc-André Barriault
No time to watch tape and honestly not much interest. Two grappling offensive heavy boys. You’d think this goes overs.
BET: No bet
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Charles Oliveira vs. Beneil Dariush
And finally, we are at the main event of the evening! Just kidding, but seriously…. We know who Charles Oliveira is, he is an aggressive, forward pushing, muay thai striker with elite offensive grappling. On the feet, I love Charles’ offense. He has technically beautiful and powerful boxing combinations, he has solid leg kicks, he has a agile lead leg which we see lets him use his teep to the guts and check kicks intermittently, he is just a lot to deal with. However, where he falls is his striking defence. He is susceptible to being hit and this is purely because he has no head movement and is always on centre line. While his recovery time is pretty decent, his chin isn’t great and we have seen that he can be submitted after being hurt if the opponent isn’t concerned with entering the grappling space with him. Onto Beneil Dariush - super well rounded guy, fights out of SP and is on some sort of upward trajectory career wise. While I do think the competition level can be slightly questioned, the same could have been said (and was said) of Charles post Kevin Lee / Tony Ferguson, but these guys cant prove themselves against top flight competition if they don’t get their chance and Beneil is getting his shot here. Beneil is good but not great on the feet, he has a sort of awkward style where he isn’t super explosive and is kind of flat footed but he does have power, good leg kicks and a decent chin. He has excellent takedown defence to keep the fight standing and if his opponent does get him down, he has elite scrambles to threaten submissions, specifically leg entanglements to use this to get back to his feet. Straight up, this is an excellent fight and we are in for a treat. How does this fight play out? It is definitely the critical question. I actually think Do Bronxs offensive wrestling is hugely underrated, he has elite double legs and if he can clinch up with you, especially against the cage, his knees to the body and elbows on the break and massive for wearing on his opponent. I honestly don’t think we see a massive amount of ground time here unless someone is rocked and wants to jump in, I think Beneil’s TD DEF is good enough to stay on the feet and I doubt he’s putting himself out to shoot singles and doubles and risk a scramble scenario with a non-concussed Charles. So the question is, who is the better striker? I think it’s Charles. I think his lead teep is going to be a huge weapon here, I think he will push the pace, use that to keep range and just wear at Beneil as well as off his jab and as long as he can avoid the big overhand left that Beneil loves, I think he is live in this one. Beneil drops his hands as he leg kicks and I can see Charles timing this, blocking the power left kick from Beneil and countering with left hook on the chin and I think we might see a ground and pound stoppage here. It is a super close fight, one that will be exciting from the start and one that will hurt no matter who loses. I think the odds are closer to a 50/50 than the bookmakers have it - I am taking Charles Oliveira via TKO RD 1.
BET: Charles Oliveira ITD +180 (1 unit to win 1.8)
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Amanda Nunes vs. Irene Aldana
This is a much more interesting fight than the previous Pena scheduling so I don’t mind seeing this replacement. Mexican fighters are on a hell of a run in title fights, so I am sure Aldana will be absorbing that momentum coming into this. Aldana is a very typical style Mexican fighter, good boxing especially in the pocket, some wicked durability and a really nice jab. She can be wrestled and taken down but for a mainly boxing fighter she manages to catch people in some strange scrambles sometimes which could play a key here. The main questions for Nunes is and always tends to be, what is her motivation like? We know how she fights, she loves to try and strike on the feet, has mean power but can also shoot takedowns and grapple with severe efficiency when she gets on top. We knew Pena was going to be durable, be awkward, be relentless and keep pushing forward and she did and she wore on Nunes. I think Aldana can do the same here, if she fights off the back of her long jab, she is a much more technical striker than Nunes IMO - and to be honest, I think Nunes has slightly regressed in her technicality on the feet. Aldana has a path to victory in fighting behind the jab, frustrating Nunes to engage in a dog fight which is much to Aldana’s benefit. I also think Nunes has a path to victory by working her takedowns, working her kicking game and winning minutes by smothering the output of Aldana. I capped this fight 55/45 to Aldana, will wait to see what they both look like on the scale before I pull the trigger but there is a potential of a Aldana ML play here if we get the right number. The pick will be Amanda Nunes via SUB RD 4 but has the potential to change.
BET: No bet currently, potential Aldana ML play.
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And that wraps up the breakdowns for this week! Good luck, always gamble responsibly and remember to hang around long-term because there will be ups and downs but trust the process and we will build some bankroll. Would love to know if you agree or disagree anywhere and let us know who you are riding with below. Enjoy the fights!
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Me myself, I have watched MMA religiously for more than 10 years and trained for over 4.5 years, I love this sport so I figured why not help bring some insight and analysis to others! Now this isn’t a sales pitch, I know how Reddit works and I really enjoy the opinions shared on this sub-reddit so I genuinely want to help contribute and if you enjoy the output, please feel free to join the team! We are proven to be profitable long-term so if you have some spare change to invest at any level, you love the sport and are interested in improving your knowledge - come over and check us out at providepicks.com. As we have a fair base of paying members, it wouldn’t be fair to them to share every single one of our bets however I want to provide as much value for this betting community as people, hopefully to help you guys see a different angle in terms of MMA betting and long-term profitability and more importantly - sending these bookies broke.

They are coming here in October and I honestly couldn't care any more. I fucking love Tool but they treat their fans like shit tbh. I have been waiting how many years for proper releases on vinyl, they released their first album in 13 years with promises of a vinyl release shortly after the cd / streaming release and we had to wait for that to get some crazy 5 disc set costing $150. Lately it has been these stupid crystal skulls that have nothing to do with the music and it is just selling us shit to see if we would actually buy it and some did. I don't know who is the driving force behind the merchandise for the band if it is Keenan or a group effort but it has become a joke. We want music, we want it on formats that we have been asking for decades now it seems and they never listen to what we want, they only do what they want, and we still buy it. Hooker with a Penis vibes strong here.
I am not buying tickets, I will buy the next album (if it will be in my lifetime, I don't know but I hope so) but I don't need skulls, blankets or other crap.
I used to wear a Tool shirt proudly and now I don't wear it at all because I am fed up with the band and this nonsense, I see Tool Official come up in my feeds and I cringe now a days, what are they trying to sell me now?
is it just me?

I desperately need advice because my mind has stopped working. I am 27M and dating a beautiful girl(26 F), and it is all where it started. I had 2 relationships before her and they had traumatic episodes on me. The first relationship lasted around 4 years where she was my first everything, but it seems that she didn't love me as much as I thought so. I was in love with her but she never reciprocated the same. (Basically our love language didn't match) I used to tell her to do things that would make me feel good and loved by her but each time she used to give me foolish reasons. My requests were so normal as anybody would expect in a decent relationship just as to be honest with me and talk with me for at least 10 mins a day. The real trauma started as we got close physically, you know in any relationship after 1-2 years or so you want to touch or feel your partner expecting at least a kiss or something. Well after so much convincing we decided to meet up and do at least some kissing and further things, she agreed on first but she rejected the idea of having penetrative sex, (we both were virgins of 20 yrs each). The reason she gave is that she will have sex only after marriage with her husband(me or other person). This happened over 10+ times over 2 years where we met and we just did everything other than penetrative sex. Even if I wanted to have sex with her and give her my virginity, I respected her opinion and never did the penetrative sex. But I didn't know this would cost me so much mental pain. This created an irritation and trauma in me that even after giving so many assurances about marriage with her and loving her so much she is not agreeing to have sex. This created a trauma in me that love is not enough for two souls to combine together by an act of love making. This is the point where i guess virginity started to matter to me. She broke up eventually after 2 years and got married.
I painfully moved on and got a job where I met my 2nd girl (6 months relationship), she was also good looking but she wanted to have sex desperately(FWB thing) and we decided to have sex and she told me that she is a virgin. When we got to the act, i was not able to penetrate her at all, she used to cry in pain, this happened quite a few times and frustrated me. Later after some research I got to know she showed symptoms of vaginismus (basically a condition of women that they can't have penetrative sex). I was devastated by hearing this because, God played some harsh game on me, the first girl didn't have penetrative sex with me even though she had the ability while 2nd girl was not able to have penetrative sex with me because she lacked the ability to have it(until it was treated).
I was heartbroken after such two girls' encounters and virginity became a huge trauma, it's like I need to feel sex with a virgin at least once in a lifetime. Because I am still a virgin even if I got two chances to penetrate a virgin girl. It has been over 6 years in this awful virgin state and now I turned 27 with my unhealed trauma getting wild.
So here somes the most beautiful girl in my world, we basically met in post graduation college and she is current my girlfriend, she is sweetest of all the 2 girls i had relationship with before. She is very caring and overall a very good girl and loves me like anything, i love her too. Love is at that level that whenever we even look at each other we smile by heart and each person's happiness makes the other partner happy. It's like there are 90% of all the things this girl has which i wanted to be in my partner.
But here starts the problem, she had previous sexual intercourse with her partner. It didn't bother me much at first because I was not in the situation of thinking of marrying her, we were just dating and she took my virginity. We were very honest about our past relationships and every other stuff before having sex.
Here as my love grew and thinking of marrying her it started to bother me that I am not her first and i wanted to have sex with her being a virgin to feel it because of my trauma. Now it has started to bother me so much that every time I hear her ex's name i get irritated (it's a very common name). I feel very awful, angry, unlucky and irritated that someone has touched her and even had sex with her in the past and i didn't get the chance to be her first sex. This is bothering me so much as I am thinking to leave her and find someone virgin for marriage. But is it so painful that i know somewhere in my mind that i won't get a girl like her caring behaviour and all the other wonderful aspects of her personality to marry. But the fact that I can't tolerate that I am not her first or matter of fact I didn't have felt with a virgin yet and also can't stand that someone had sex with her before me. The trauma is becoming painful day by day.
Please let me know what to do? Can my trauma heal without leaving/cheating on her?
Also please upvote for maximum opinions.
TL;DR Can't tolerate partner's sexual past because she is not a virgin and it has started to bother me because of my past trauma.

Hello, I apologize for bringing this up again in a new post, as I know there have been other threads discussing the same thing. The first one that came up in my Google search was two years old.
So, I'm now beginning to level in Shadowlands for my first time through these zones. The game quest-chained me directly to the Kyrian "afterlife".
So, the first thing I notice, is that things "die" here, like, a lot, often by my own hand. And, the place has historically come under attack from the Void realm, before the time of the current Shadowlands crisis, and many souls "died" in those wars defending Bastion.
So, what is happening here? Do "souls" in the Shadowlands just get used as anima energy after they "die" for the second time?
My current hypothesis is that the whole realm is just like the Emerald Dream/Nightmare. It doesn't really exist as anything but the last neural firings of a dying brain. Of course, that wouldn't explain how the living Maw-Walker PC winds up there, or how entities from there can kidnap living Alliance and Horde leaders into that realm. If they were "Emerald-dreaming", then their physical bodies should still exist on the material plane.
I wonder if the whole attempt at a fantasy afterlife cosmology here doesn't suffer from the same "failure to think it through" problems that real life religions that believe in an afterlife suffer from . And for the record, I don't believe for one minute there's any such thing as an "afterlife" in real life. I think people make up the whole thing in their religions because people struggle to deal with death and loss. It's a fantasy in real life, maybe a delusional one, as far as I'm concerned. It's magical thinking, which is a psychiatric symptom to be pitied and treated in any other context but religion.
But I digress. I'm trying to come up with a head-canon that enables me to enjoy these beautiful new-to-me zones without constantly having my suspension of disbelief strained to the breaking point.
My first thought would be that if you're a dead soul in the Shadowlands, in whatever realm of it, if you fight and die, then you just wake up again from your point of view, either in some other form, or just relocated to yet another battle. If your anima gets consumed to power the place, you're just gone. It's non-existence, oblivion, which is what death is supposed to be anyway. Although that begs the question, why does the place exist at all? Why not have dead souls powering the material universe with no need for any "afterlives" at all? That would be closer to what may be happening in real life, according to Eastern religions, if indeed we are more than our physical consciousness in any way, although I doubt that, too.

Preface:
I am a huge Lord of the Rings fan; I re-read the books typically once a year. I also adore the movies, and find all of Tolkien's legendarium absolutely awesome. Truly one of my favorite hobbies so I'd like to offer some critiques and excitement of flavor gems from Tales of Middle Earth. I won't do every card, but I'll comment on some individual cards and how WOTC did on it. I will comment on the cards abilities but only insofar as it impacts the flavor; i.e. what the card is doing not power level, etc.
To be clear: I understand there are sacrifices you need to make for the greater game, and sometimes those come first. For these articles: I am looking at each card in a vacuum, so if I seem harsh it's because I am using a single lens.
Next up: Frodo, Determined Hero!
​
https://preview.redd.it/2bhjrhgich4b1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=a018b0e5bd6fa16f141f1d33a25cfacba2cd7352
Flavor Preface
I already wrote a fair amount on this, I think the more important thing here to discuss is where Frodo is for the card. The answer is clearly Moria. His sword is going blue, which (I believe) only happens a couple of times: first when Frodo enters Moria, and then again a few times as Frodo travels down the Anduin and at Amon Hen (I could be miss remembering). Frodo does show valor in the Chamber of Mazarbal, and it is here that he is stabbed by a great Orc chieftain (not a troll as shown in the films).
Color
White is fine, I like White-Green for Frodo but White is good too.
Creature Type
I am not so sure that Frodo is a warrior per se. That seems a bit strange to me; I prefer citizen or scout (even while on the journey) but this is a quibble.
Abilities
So I think the flavor they're going for here is Frodo putting on his Mithril coat and equipping Sting. It's not my favorite flavor for Frodo but for this incredibly specific instance it's all good. The best version of Frodo that I've seen so far is Sauron's Bane.

I've been looking at what Asthmatics like myself have to go through on a daily basis. And I'm seeing a trend that's disturbing.
The devices Asthmatics are expected to carry in their pockets are cheap JUNK. They won't survive an accidental drop, a dip in a puddle, or an (insert potential disaster here). The inhalers and mesh nebulizers, considered "durable medical equipment", don't meet the latest military standards for basic tri-proof durability, and aren't as portable as they could be.
Vapers, on the other hand, are being treated like royalty with devices like the Geekvape Aegis Boost Pro, Geekvape Aegis Nano N30, the SMOK pen, and the legendary device known as the JUUL.
If I could pair the durable bodies of these vaping devices with the ultrasonic mesh pod technology of the Philips and Omron devices currently on the market, and properly market the device to Asthmatics, we'd have a game changer that could revolutionize on the go asthma treatment.
Usonicig failed. Innokin Surge isn't available in the US. And I'm seeing why. They simply marketed to the wrong crowd...

All codes are US, HD/blu-ray unless marked otherwise
also check out my For Sale Post on DCS
UHD/4k movies: Disney/Marvel, no DMDMI, all port UHD/4k to MA: itunes redemptions only (splits) Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Captain Marvel (2019) Frozen (2013) Good Dinosaur (2015) Maleficent (2014) Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) Toy Story 4 (2019)
UHD/4k movies: vudu or MA redemptions only, port 4k to MA none ATM
UHD/4k movies: vudu redemptions only, do not port to MA 3 From Hell (Unrated) (2019) Cabin In the Woods (2012) Force of Nature (2020) John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019) $2 Last Witch Hunter (2015) Saw (Unrated Version) (2004) Survive the Night (2020) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
UHD/4k movies: itunes redemptions only, port 4k to MA Let's Be Cops (2014) $2
UHD/4k movies: itunes redemptions only, do not port to MA 3 From Hell (2019) (Theatrical) Cabin In the Woods (2012) Deepwater Horizon (2016) Ender's Game (2013) Force of Nature (2020) Hunger Games (2012) John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019) $2 Last Witch Hunter (2015) Saw (Unrated Version) (2004) Survive the Night (2020) Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) Wonder (2017) $2
HD movies, MA or vudu redemptions only, port to MA: The Fate of the Furious (Theatrical) (2017)
HD movies: itunes redemptions only (splits), port HD to MA Oz The Great And Powerful (2013) Planes (2013) Planes: Fire & Rescue (2014) The Pirate Fairy (2014)
HD movies: itunes redemptions only, port HD to MA none ATM
HD movies: vudu redemptions only, do not port to MA Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) The Hunger Games (2012) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)
HD movies: itunes redemptions only, do not port to MA The Last Stand (2013)
Disney/Marvel HD movies, no DMDMI, all port HD to MA: google play redemptions only (splits) Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Avengers: Endgame (2019) Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Beauty and the Beast (2017) Black Panther (2018) Captain America: Civil War (2016) Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Captain Marvel (2019) Cars 3 (2017) Doctor Strange (2016) Dumbo (2019) Finding Dory (2016) Frozen (2013) Frozen Sing-Along Edition (2014) Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Inside Out (2015) Iron Man 3 (2013) Maleficent (2014) Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) Mary Poppins (1964) Moana (2016) Mulan (2020) Oz The Great And Powerful (2013) Planes (2013) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) The Avengers (2012) The Jungle Book (2016) The Lion King (2019) The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) The Pirate Fairy (2014) Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Toy Story 4 (2019)

Hello again!
Payment via PayPal G&S. Shipping starts at $4.50 for a small item depending on zip and increases with weight (USPS). Shipping from the East Coast. $10 min before shipping preferred. All item conditions are noted and pictured best as I can. Most are brand new.
Please don't ghost. It's okay if you change your mind. NIL based on timestamps. Note that I have some of these items listed on other platforms as well and will adjust the availability accordingly.
BN = Brand New; BNIB = Brand New In Box; BNIP = Brand New in Packaging; FS = full size; DS = deluxe size/travel size/mini; FWP = free with purchase
I'm very careful to keep my makeup clean and protected, keeping original packaging where I can. Smoke- and pet-free home. Always masking. See this wonderful feedback from previous buyer 1, 2 and 3 as references 😊
  Please comment below before sending a Reddit chat since I can't see those on mobile.  
Swaplist:
New only: Dior beige mitzah, Rose Montaigne or Pink Corolle mono eyeshadows. Trestique Summer Glow & Go set from Boxy. Try me on Sephora Lipstories balms (I already have shades 07 and 08 and a couple others), must be sealed.
 
Eyes
Mascara - $12 for all  

• Charlotte Tilbury Legendary Lashes Vol 2. travel size, BNIP - $4
• Dior Diorshow Volume Mascara, 1.5ml travel size, BNIB - $5
• MAC Stack Superstack Micro Brush mascara mini, BN - $4
• Tarte Lights Camera Lashes mascara deluxe size, BN, 1 available - $3

Eyeshadow  

• Tarte Chrome Paint Shadow Pot in Martini (bronzed olive) 3g, BNIB - $12
• Tarte Chrome Paint Shadow Pot in Wild at Heart (pink with blue duochrome) 3g, BNIB - $12
• NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Iced Mocha, swatched - $2
• Colourpop Colour Stix eyeshadow stick in Devotion, swatched & sharpened - $3
• Colourpop Colour Stix eyeshadow stick in Hyde, swatched - $3
• Nudestix Magnetic Eye Color in Smoke, FS, BN/sealed - $12
• Revlon So Fierce! Prismatic Shadow Palette, Slight Flex, swatched/light use - $3
• Sephora Collection colorful metal effect eyeshadow in 07 Volcano Land (metallic brown), arrived broken, pushed back into the pan - FWP
• Sephora Collection colorful shimmer eyeshadow in 254 Diving In (blue), very delicately swatched - $3
• Elf Bite Size Mini eyeshadow palette in Rose Water, light usage - $1 or FWP $20+
• Elf Bite Size Mini eyeshadow palette in Mint to Be, light usage - $1
• Elf No Budge Eyeshadow Stick in Champagne Crystal, used & sharpened 1x - $1
• ArtDeco eyeshadow refill, 218 - soft brown mauve, swatched - FWP
• Phase Zero shimmer eyeshadow in Nude Newbie, usage shown - FWP

 
Face

• bareMinerals Original loose powder foundation SPF 15 in Golden Fair 04, full size, ~80% remaining - $12
• Colourpop Flexitarian Super Shock Cheek highlighter, gentle use shown - $4
• Dior Forever Skin Glow Foundation sampler - FWP
• Westman Atelier Vital Skincare Complexion Drops sampler - FWP

 
Lips - New

• Bobbi Brown Crushed Lip Color in Ruby, travel size, BNIB - $8
• Bobbi Brown Luxe Lip Color in Parisian red, travel size, BN - $8
• Clinique Pop Plush Creamy Lip Gloss in 01 Black Honey, BNIB - $16
• Becca Ultimate Lipstick Love in Cherry, FS, BNIB - $14
• Becca Glow Gloss in Rose Gold, mini, BN - $6
• Pat McGrath Labs Lust Lip Gloss in Flesh 6, travel size, BN - $5
• Revlon Super Lustrous Glass Shine Lipstick, Cherries in the Snow 004, BN/sealed (discontinued shade) - $10
• Catrice Plumping Lip Liner in 080 Press the Hot Button, BN - $1
• L'Oreal Infallible 8hr Pro Gloss, full size, shade Suede (peachy-pink gold duochrome), full size, BN - $4
• L'Oreal Infallible 8hr Pro Gloss, full size, shade Blush (pink shimmer), full size, BN - $4

 
Lips - Swatched or Gentle Use

• Hourglass Confession lipstick in "I Can't Wait" (refill only, will ship with no cap), swatched - $16
• Hourglass Confession lipstick in "If I Could" (refill only, will ship with no cap), used 1x - $12
• Hourglass Confession lipstick in "When I'm With You" (refill only, will ship with no cap), used 1x - $12
• Or take all 3 Hourglass refills for $35
• Bobbi Brown Crushed Lip Color in Ruby, travel size, gentle use - $4
• NYX Limited Edition Avatar Luminescent Lip Gloss, shade 01 Shimmering Waters, swatched - $5
• Too Faced Sex on the Peach mini lipstick, light usage shown - $1
• BareMinerals BarePro longwear lipstick deluxe mini, Petal, usage shown - FWP
• Tarte travel size busy gal gloss in Run This Town (watermelon with gold shimmer), swatched - $2
• Lipstick Queen Sinner lipstick in Peachy Nude Sinner, FS, very light usage shown - $10
• Urban Decay Vice Lipstick, Limited Edition Born to Run, Shade 66 (Rich Mauve-Nude), Comfort Matte finish, usage shown - $4
• Becca Ultimate Lipstick Love in Maroon, FS, very light usage shown - $5
• Catrice Loves PETA Limited Edition Demi Matt lipstick (similar to MAC powder kiss formula) in C01 Spread Empathy, gentle usage shown- $2
• Catrice Demi Matt Lipstick in 040 Exotic Nude, very light usage shown - $2
• Catrice Demi Matt Lipstick in 140 Breathless Berry, swatched only - $4

 
Brushes - Take all for $22

• Real Techniques Brush Crush Vol 2 Limited Edition 301 Foundation Brush in Galaxy; new, washed in unscented cleanser - $15 + free Sigma brush cleanser sample
• Luxie 231 Small Tapered Blender eyeshadow brush, washed once in unscented cleanser - $4
• Ebelin "Sommerblütentraum" Limited Edition dried flower clear handle eye blending brush, BN - $4
• Wet n Wild Pro Line Tapered Highlighting Brush P75, BN - $2
• Wet n Wild Pro Line Fluffly Blending Brush P20, BN - $2
• Wet n Wild Pro Line Dome Pencil Eye Brush, used once, washed in unscented cleanser - $1

 
Skincare - $50 shipped for all

• La Mer The Moisturizing Soft Cream mini/deluxe sample, BN - $11
• Well People Plant Powderfoliant Renewing Charcoal Exfoliating Powder, travel size 16g - $6
• Farmacy Honey Potion Plus Ceramide Hydration Mask mini, 9g, BN - $5
• Farmacy Green Clean Makeup Removing Cleansing Balm mini, 20 mL, BN - $5
• COSRX Hydrium Watery Tonery, 50mL, Exp. 09/21/2023, BNIB - $5
• MAC Hyper Real Serumizer, 4mL, BN - $3
• Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Serum Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex II, 7ml, BNIB - $9 (one remaining)
• Proactiv Deep Cleansing Face Wash, 2 oz, swatched - $3
• Awake Balance Shot antioxidant concentrate mini, BN - $1
• Tarte Sugar Rush Don't Hate Hydrate oil-free moisturizer, 5mL - $1
• Essence Coffee To Glow undereye treatment with caffeine, new - $2

 
Skincare Tools

• FOREO Luna Play Plus in Aquamarine, New w/ Box - $26
• Revolution Skincare Cooling Eye Roller Ball, BNIB - $7

 
Fragrance, Hair & Body

• Fragrance sampler bundle: Miss Dior, Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia, Dior J'Adore, Dior Sauvage, all BN. $2 or FWP $25+
• AVEDA Nutriplenish leave-in conditioner spray, travel size 30mL - $8
• Hair ties bundle: Essence limited edition Pink & Proud scrunchie (EU exclusive); Ebelin hair claw; 6 x Esmara spiral hair ties - crystal (clear); 3 x Invisibobble hair rings (burgundy); 4 x Kitsch hair spirals (no box); 4 x Ebelin micro hair spirals, all BN - $6
• Devacurl Curl Bond Re-Coiling treatment mask, 30ml x 2 = 60ml (~$11 value) - $2 or FWP $20+
• Or take all of the above for $12
• Sanex Dermo Invisible Deodorant, 50mL, BN (EU item) - $4.25 each (3 listed, 6 total available)

 
SOLD
 

• Hourglass Confession Lipstick in "At Dusk" from the Limited Edition Sculpture Collection. Comes with the Limited Edition refillable holder and At Dusk refill (both never used). Holder fits any Confession lipstick refill BN

You struggle fitting in with the rest of society, maybe because you're shy or more introverted due to having a traumatic history of people treating you bad. People automatically think you're boring, weak, worthless, easy to take advantage of and disrespect. You try to defend yourself when people are mean to you and stand up for what you believe is right, but people viciously attack you and name call you and gaslight you. People's cold rejection of you and mistreatment of you eventually gets so hard to handle after a while.
You try to seek help but all anybody does is point fingers at you and blame you for it all calling you and asshole and saying that you're the problem. You say "gee, I don't think I do anything assholish, I feel like I make good choices and just try to stand up for what I believe in, but maybe they're right". So you try so hard to be a really good person, going the extra mile, trying to fit in and show kindness and politeness and manners, try really hard to not make any waves with others, show empathy and overlook their flaws...but now people treat you even worse because they just walk all over you, just living to make your live harder, poking at you and prodding at you for a reaction. Now you're just a pathetic people-pleaser.
Either you're either a heartless asshole or a pathetic people-pleaser and there's no in between. I wish I could just figure out how to survive on this planet. I wish I could just figure out how to do one thing right.

crash
I shot upright in my bed. My heart was pumping my blood around my body like I was in the middle of a race.
My blood felt cold as ice, too. I felt my arteries and veins in my guts and my skin pulsate and nearly vibrate as my mind pieced together reality and whatever the fuck that was.
I took a deep breath. I grabbed the sides of my bed. My therapist taught me a couple grounding techniques when this happens. Smell something strong. Eat something. Grab something sturdy and breathe. She lost me at the stuff about my childhood, though. Too murky. Too weird.
I think that’s what the dreams are about. Something related to it. Dunno.
I got out of bed just to go sit on another cushion of some sort. Couch, dining room chair, desk chair. My grounding techniques have also led me to realizing how often we sit. Or at least how often I sit.
I made my way to the kitchen, focused on coffee and whatever grainy mush I’ll make today instead of what truly started my day. On occasions I’ll get flashbacks to the dreams in my waking state, just to flicker back to life. It’s been getting worse lately, I’ve even lost a few friends because it happened in front of them. I think they want me to get more help than I already am.
click
I turned the coffee machine on. People love to talk and write and sing and dance about coffee and how they love it. I hate it. I think that’s partially why I drink it.
whirr
Sometimes I’ll let it get lukewarm just so I can chug it quickly. I treat it like an alcoholic treats vodka.
click
I sometimes consider myself an energy addict. I hate being asleep even for 20 seconds.
I poured the coffee. The one thing I do like about coffee is making it. I like the process. I also like the warmth of the machine. The warmth. Hm. I do like that.
My eyes shut quickly, like they were attached to a pulley and the weight snapped the cable.
Immediately I was floating in an empty abyss. My body was nothing and my mind was nothing. Then, light, and color. And noises. Not speech, yet, but ambience. Room noise.
I turned my head quickly. I was in a room I recognized, just barely. Not a hospital room, but some type of examination room or doctor’s office. Or something. Cold. White. Clean.
I felt fragile. Weak and brittle. My teeth chattered and my eyes hurt from the fluorescent lights above me. Suddenly a door clicked open.
“Good afternoon, Art.”
A man in a lab coat stepped into the room. The hairs on my neck stood up. Why am I scared of this motherfucker? I clenched a fist and saw it from my peripheral vision. It wasn’t much bigger than a cue ball. I instantly felt my heart rate increase. This isn’t now. This is back then. I’m small. Like 8 years old, maybe 9.
“Hi.” My child voice creaks. I sound sick.
“We just have a few more procedures and then you can go back home to mommy and daddy, okay?” The man said, a sinister smile creeping across his face. His eyes flickered bright green and then a deep red.
Involuntarily I lashed, and screamed. The coffee spilling over my bare feet and arms shocked me back to reality. This time, though, I remembered. I saw his face. I don’t know who he was, but I knew him.
Work was regular, boring. I came home to my empty apartment and watched some TV. I try to watch as much TV as possible. It keeps me awake.
I made dinner. I called a friend. I called another friend. Then, I called my sister.
“Do you remember anything weird happening to me when I was little, maybe around ‘95 or ‘96?”
“Art, you don’t remember?”
“Remember what?”
“You went missing for 3 months in the woods when you were 8 years old. You just showed up back at home one day, safe and clean. You said you lived in the woods, but mom and dad always tried to get you to tell them if you were anywhere else, don’t you remember? I can’t believe you don’t remember this. I think you should really talk to your therapist about tha-“
I hung up the phone. I felt like the walls were melting around me. What? I didn’t remember that shit. I cycled through the stages of realization rapidly. I denied it. She’s lying. It’s a prank. But the dreams.
Fuck.
I called back the first friend I called, James, and asked him to come over. I never have people over, but I couldn’t be alone. Not while this traumatic shit sinks back in to my memory.
James arrived within an hour and within 30 minutes of that we were well on our way through a 12 pack of Bud Lite and barely paying attention to the shitty comedy we chose to watch. I felt better about the whole thing with him there. At least I’m here. I can figure out whatever shitty trauma occurred to me in therapy, and hell, maybe I can write a book about it.
I laid back and felt at ease. The beers were likely helping too. My eyes involuntarily shut and I drifted off. Just for a second, but it was enough to flip the switch.
The man stood over me, syringe in hand.
“That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?”
I felt hot liquids running through my veins.
Something foreign.
He moved me to some type of gurney and rolled me through a maze of hallways and labs. We entered a cavernous room with a large opening in the floor.
He guided me towards this circular porthole in the ground and helped me off of the gurney. I stepped onto a platform next to it.
“Alright, Art. It’s time for you to go back to Mom and Dad. But I will see you again. You’ll be home soon.”
He pressed a button and a beam of light shot downward, showing trees and leaves swaying in the night. I felt the pull of gravity release me as this beam carried me down, into the woods right outside of my childhood home. As I landed softly on the ground, the beam receded and I peered upwards. A giant spacecraft stood there, motionless and silent, except for an almost unnoticeable white noise. I watched as the edges of the object waved and flickered, precisely and quickly, making it camouflage with the sky. For all I know it’s still there.
My eyes shot open.
What the fuck?
My couch was wet with sticky sweat. James seemed to be long gone. Another friend freaked out by my fucking psychoses. That’s what it has to be, right? I’m going bonkers. That’s the only logical option.
I walked over to my phone to call 911. I need to be put away, or on meds, or something. As I sped towards the phone, I tripped on something. I turned and looked. One of my floorboards was completely loose, no nails or anything. I hesitantly grabbed it and lifted it up. I don’t know why I did that. Curiosity? Fate? Them?
The board lifted with a squelch. I was immediately hit with the smell of blood and shit.
What the fuck?
The empty rectangle revealed a tiny crawlspace. Inside, James sat slumped over. His eyes removed from his face and his appendages torn clean off.
I threw up my dinner. It felt good. I looked up at my window. A bright light shot into my apartment. A light white noise became apparent. It was time for me to go home.

I'm sure this topic has been around before, but I haven't seen it in a while, and I'm curious about exploring why people write what they do. So yeah, I'm throwing this one out there.
I write all the time, and I publish almost none of it, mostly cause I really do just write for me most of the time. But there is one story I've posted. It did very well, or I think it did anyway, and I'm proud of it.
But I didn't go in wanting it to do well. I published it, one, cause I'm proud of it, and two, cause even being a fairly popular ship, I saw almost no one treating the two I wrote about quite the way I wanted to see.
I don't mind a bit of OOC to a degree, I think it's hard to get away from 100% when you are not the official writers of a canon, but I always felt with this ship dynamic that the fanon was often very removed from the canon. So I cracked my knuckles and wrote what I wanted to read.
Just curious about the number of us that do stuff like that?
TL;DR How often would you say you write something not just cause it sparks an interest but also because you aren't getting what you want out of the published works available to read?

So the issue I am having is I'm trying to connect to multiple Vlans on my computer through a trunked port on a switch that is adding tags for Vlan 10, 20, and 30. I was reading that the nic needs to have 802.1q capability. When I opened the realtek ethernet diagnostic utility to add the Vlan id's to the nic it only shows the submenus of general and about. Nothing that let's me change vlan settings or any other settings. I've tried looking up the model number for the network adapter in the device info, but can't seem to find a model number anywhere. Am I missing something? Also if it isn't capable of multiple vlans is it possible to change out the NIC on the laptop so I don't have to get a separate usb to ethernet dongle with the 802.1q capability?

A family member of mine has an autoimmune condition (alopecia universalis) and on top of being a chronic drinker with lots of health and mental health issues, they were recently diagnosed with lupus last week. I heard them telling my mom that they don’t have a long prognosis but wasn’t sure if that was from lupus alone or the state of their other organs (they have liver issues as well).
Can someone tell me more about lupus and if it has life shortening affects? My family member is not open to treating their condition and I’m not really sure what this means or how I can help them. Do people need organ transplants? A lot of what I found online said 80-90% live a normal life with treatment but what if you don’t treat it…
Appreciate any insight.
Thank you.

OI means otome isekai, referring to a shoujo harem isekai, but it is usually used to refer to a new wave of shoujo/josei content (ex manga, manhwa, etc) where the protagonist is the "villainess" who either turns her life around, or was unfairly labelled as a villainess so she gets revenge, etc. Sometimes the villainess really is a villainess, those ones are fun (ex The Villainess Turns The Hourglass, Roxana, Sister, I am the Queen in This Life)
While reading some of this content, I couldn't help but see parallels to Azula.
“The Tyrant Wants to be Good” for example has striking similarities to Azula's story, with a few slight changes. The main character, Dorothea, was neglected and treated poorly as the second princess because her father liked her brother more. In Avatar, this relates to Azula, in her case, her mother favored her brother more than her, though her father "preferred" her (really he just wanted to train her into a weapon).
There are also hints of sexism Dorothea faces - she is more capable than her brother, but is denied going to the prestigious noble school and the throne simply because she was the second born girl. Depending on how you interpret the Fire Nation's society, this relates to Azula. Azula worked hard to be a powerful fire bender, the perfect Fire Nation princess, yet her mother favored Zuko over her in her eyes, and despite all her hard work, in the end Zuko ends up on the throne instead of her.
Because of her troubled childhood, Dorothea grew up with resentment for her brother and tried to use fear to keep the people she loved by her side. She ended up becoming a tyrant who needed to be brought down by someone close to her.
You see the Azula parallels?
Dorothea ends up going back in time and getting a chance to do her life over, to be "good". After her fall, she sees the errors of her ways.
Azula hasn't yet seen the errors of her ways, but in the comics, she is unfortunately treated very poorly by the facility she resides in, perhaps impeding her progress.
It amazes me how sympathetically the "villainess" genre frames their female protagonists compared to Azula. Until the last season of Avatar, Azula is not framed in a sympathetic light, despite being raised to believe what she's doing is right and also suffering from her parent's (specifically Ozai's) abuse. In Zuko's case, he is treated sympathetically from the beginning, while Azula is treated more like she sees herself as: a monster. We see brief moments of sympathy, but not to the level that Zuko was made sympathetic. An example of this lack of sympathetic framing is Azula being called crazy in the show, and being put in a strait jacket, a torture device, in the comics.
While some of OI's plots need to be more fleshed out, I really would love to see what a OI author would do with Azula's character.

Ever since the 5e influx, a lot of conversations have been…frustrating me, to put it lightly. There’s a feeling that while people are willing to engage with the game and generally like a lot of the concepts, there are people who get frustrated with Paizo's overarching design decisions to the point they demand change or call certain core philosophies objectively bad design.
As someone who very much likes most of the game's core philosophies, it's taken me a while to wrap my head around it, but I feel there was a crystallizing moment for me the other day when there was a thread discussing balance vs fun. Essentially, it purported that balance often came at the expense of fun, and that a lot of games end up becoming homogenized or having the soul sucked out of them for the sake of making every option viable.
Now of course, this is a false dichotomy. You can still have a game that is balanced between options that is also fun. A lot of imbalanced games are also not fun as well, even for the people they’re imbalanced in favor of. But it seems to be a major perception that when you play a game, you’re either here for a fun time or you’re here to play for keep and there’s no middle ground.
2e is no different. A lot of people treat the game's design as if it is trying to ruin their fun for the same if balance. Phrases like 'I know the game is balanced, it's just not fun' or 'they've overcorrected because they're too scared of breaking the game' get thrown around a lot.
Now I've seen this a lot over all of 2e's lifespan, but something became apparent as I was reading the thread; something that I’d sort of always realized, but for some reason I can’t figure out, it finally clicked to me how deep and intrinsic it is to the core discussions surrounding 2e.
The simple fact is: there are a lot of people who don’t seem to accept or even realise that PF2e is designed primarily as a strategy game before anything else.
(Just for reference, I made a Twitter thread about this, so I'm going to copy a lot of almost verbatim, but past that I’m going to elaborate in much more detail on thoughts and specific examples of what I’m talking about)
One of the big disconnects for me when I started playing DnD back in 3.5 (and eventually moved to PF1e) is that when I found out it was grid-based strategy, I was super excited. I loved games like FFT and Advance Wars back in the day, and had only just started playing FE:A, so I was down to clown.
The problem I eventually realized was the game isn't actually built for nuanced tactical play, despite being turn-based and having a grid and rules for interacting with it. It rewards expedient powergamed options and eclipses any concept of power cap.
5e was very similar. I went in seeing it was toned down and expected it to appeal more to that more nuanced gameplay. It certainly held the aesthetic of it, with mechanics like concentration to stop rampant buff stacking and streamline spellcasting, and to its credit it's skill floor was much more stable, making it easier to get on the ground floor with a playable character without needing an obtuse level of upfront system mastery.
But in the long term, I found it was just as bad an offender as 3.5/1e, between more extremely powerful expedient options, poorly tuned inter-class balance, monsters being quickly outscaled by player stats, and advantage being a very swingy buff state.
(sadly I missed 4e, which in hindsight I think would have absolutely been my bag)
So when 2e came out, I was cautious. I had been burnt before, and I was skeptical Paizo could actually stand on their own with a truly unique system apropos of DnD’s existing influence. But when I started my initial foray into the system, gingerly running small one shots and module length adventures with my players, I began to realize…this is it. This is the tactical d20 game I've been waiting over seven years for. Classes are much better balanced, the encounter building rules actually work, and my players are engaging in nuanced tactics beyond just trying to go for the biggest hits every turn. This is great!
I was super excited to have 2e finally meet that goal for being a d20 system that placed tactics at the heart of the gameplay.
...only to find people were bouncing off it while espousing the game's focus on strategy and the balance that came with it too stifling.
I've seen phrases akin to, ‘I get AOEs are effective, but I don't care if they're mathematically balanced compared to single target actions. I want the fantasy of blowing up all the enemies in the room with my fireball, not chipping them down half of their health and letting the martials mop up.’ Literally just the other day, I saw someone complain that they liked save or suck spells and that they were upset 2e did away with it. 'What if I WANT to turn the lich to stone with one spell and win the fight before it even starts?'
Obviously spellcasters are a low-hanging fruit that have been discussed ad-infinitum, but I see the same thing with martials more often than most people would realize. You have comments complaining that the base hit rates being closer to 50% than 70-80% is objectively bad design. People don’t want to engage in buff-based gameplay or teamwork that improves the odds in their favor; they want to have that high base chance as a standard and go to town with minimal windup or strategic investment.
Even from a mechanical standpoint, there's a common disdain towards a lot of the system's more nuanced mechanics that people feel are done more out of anti-fun pedantry than to create meaningful choices. I've seen people go on tirades about hand economy and how they hate needing to weigh up what you're holding at any given moment, all the way up to level 20 with no way around it. Plenty of people hate the shield mechanics for being finicky and seemingly existing for their own sake, while I love them because I get to see exactly when raising it stops my shield ally champion from getting hit and how much damage I chunk off when I block.
A lot of people talk about disconnect of expectations with the designers, but I'm starting to believe the source of this disconnect is rarely what they actually think it is, which is that strategy focus. 2e’s foundation is very clearly focused on trying to create strategy and meaningful gameplay loops via balance and tactical decision making, rather than the intense power curves of previous systems. So why are people engaging in a game like that when they want more freeform expression or have the fantasy be a pure power fantasy?
Well, the answer is, because they never wanted to engage in strategy in the first place, at least as far as the design tenets and expected player input of the strategy genre goes. They're coming in with a different expectation of what genre they want these games to be. I may come into it expecting XCOM and FFT, or even more tactics-focused board games (I mean in the end, what is an RPG with minis but a board game with more steps?). People like me want their character fantasies in a nuanced environment where I still get to have that feeling of being fantastical, but have to play smart to win. I don't have any expedient I-win buttons, and the victory is earnt, not given.
But others may come in expecting Diablo or Dynasty Warriors, where the power fantasy of being a one-man army is the appeal. They want to mow effortlessly through hordes of monsters and soldiers to feel unstoppable, where every attack is merely a scratch. Even bosses are just bigger roadblocks in the way to glory - they may stand a chance at putting you down, but ultimately you're a powerhouse. You're destined for greatness by virtue of the game glorifying you at every turn, narratively and mechanically.
Others still want that epic set piece experience - your Soulsborne/DMC/MGR style boss rushes, or Monster Hunter-esque scenarios against huge monsters, where smaller, less important adversaries are but window dressing to the main event. The game is more or less balanced around your capacity to stand toe to toe with Goliath beasts and master warriors. There is challenge and strategy, but it is focused around this particular format, where the game is about that pinpoint adrenaline, almost reaction-based combat against single major foes. This makes wide swathes of the available options and design decisions in a game like 2e redundant because everything gets consolidated into that focus on boss battles.
(I will say, there are elements of both the above that can exist in 2e, and with enough kerjiggering you can probably create an experience much closer to them than the intended game. But as far as official design goes, they are not the sole focus nor what the game is clearly designed around. There is a holistic experience at play here that incorporates a wider variety of combat scenarios)
And then there are the people who come in with…almost no gaming litmus to compare it to whatsoever. Combat in TTRPGs is the only true experience they've ever had of it being encapsulated in a mechanical experience. They may see it as a draw card. They may see it as an opportunity to just roleplay. Others still may see it as an impediment to their fun.
Obviously no one system is ever going to appeal to everyone, but I feel like a lot of people are coming into 2e either not understanding the fact the game is designed around this heavily tactical experience, or understanding it but not liking this and wanting it to shift design focus.
To be fair, this could be a good wake-up call for the rest of the community. One of the sentiments that often gets touted a lot is that people feel they’ve been misled by the advertising of 2e as a system; particularly coming from 5e, a lot of people feel a lot of the discussion has been about 2e ‘fixing’ its problems, creating a better holistic experience of the same game.
I’m beginning to believe the issue in hindsight is that the people saying that - myself included - have been coming at this from the assumption that the players who are complaining about 5e are doing so from the angle of a strategy game, when in fact, they haven’t.
But in our defense, I can absolutely see why we would have thought that. A lot of complaints relate to topics such as class imbalance, build disparity, poor encounter tuning, lack of coherent rules for character abilities, etc. Essentially, all stuff that reads ‘we care a lot about the mechanics of this game. We want it to be fairer and have more robust systems, more options in combat, etc.’
Essentially, stuff that is inherently linked to this strategy focus.
Clearly this hasn't been the case though, for whatever reason. Maybe it's about time that the people who like PF2e and are trying to sell it to others, and when discussing topics in places like this subreddit, acknowledge that 2e isn't actually an unmitigated power fantasy d20 system, but a version that is aimed at that sort of strategy aficionado who want a game that's about tactical engagement and builds mattering for the sake of how they engage with those strategy elements, rather than just being an expression of how they will inevitably win and treating the mechanics that keep those design goals in check as pedantic and anti-fun.
This will make PF2e a much less universally appealing switch. It might even lose players who'd otherwise not try it. But it's more honest and will probably do more good for bringing and guiding new players without breeding long-term resentment and feeling misled. At the very least, it will frame expectations better.
At the same time, I think a lot more people need to in turn understand that the people like me who really like this game do so specifically because of its focus on the strategy elements; that we understand things like the tight balance and nuanced mechanics are in place to enable that. I feel too much of the conversation can devolve into accusing these design decisions of being anti-fun, almost malicious, and that people who prefer it are being overly pedantic, often to the point of paranoia about imbalances.
Obviously there needs to be nuance. Some people do legitimately want that mechanical element but just disagree with certain points on the way Paizo does it. If people feel certain fiddly elements can be removed or underpowered mechanics can be buffed without breaking the balance or adding even more strategy, then sure, that's great. Let's have those discussions. But once there's a sort of 'I don't care about balance I care about fun' sentiment being thrown around, I feel that's when discussion begins to break down because it's fundamentally asking Paizo to change the direction of their design; one that a lot of people have come to this game specifically for, and pay the designers to make for our tastes.
As I said, no one game is going to make everyone happy, but some games are more focused on what they're aiming for than others. 2e is one of those games. I think the core conflict at the heart of 2e's direction is not that it's designed around a strategy focus, nor that others don't always like that. It's that there's a core assumption everyone playing d20 games is doing so because strategy is the main investment.
There's probably meaningful discussion to be had as to whether there is virtue in this as a core focus. Maybe people like myself are in fact just stickler pedants who are too focused on things being fair and balanced for our own good. Maybe no-one else cares about that nuanced strategy focus and it's too niche a market to bother with past indulging people like me through single player experiences. But either way, understanding that focus and where the differences of want from that will help discussion more than anything else

Ive had multiple doctors tell me I have hEDS but none of them were willing to diagnose me because its "not my specialty" "not my area of expertise" etc. I asked them who I should go to, then, and so I go to that person and they say the same thing. repeat repeat repeat.
I finally got myself into physical therapy for hypermobility after breaking my ankle for a second time (after like 6 sprains too). My PT is super understanding and respectful of the hEDS stuff and works with me to build stability.
Im just wondering if its even worth it to keep pursuing an offical disgnosis though. Will a diagnosis give me resources? I know that hEDS can affect how certain medications work or how I might need to be treated if i ever have surgery, but I feel like most doctors wouldnt even know to treat me differently even if i had the diagnosis.
thoughts?